Dirty Secrets
by Salark
Summary: Takuya moves to a new city and meets a strange boy. At his new school his new friends tell him about this orphaned boy named Kouji's past. But is any of it true? Can Takuya find the truth? Maybe something more too? Takouji. BEING RE-WRITTEN as of 2012
1. Chapter One

Warnings: offensive language/swearing, male/male pairing

Disclaimer: Do not own Digimon or any of the characters used.

Author's Notes: Re-written, posted 2010-09-12.

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As of 2010-09-12 Dirty Secrets is currently being re-written. The chapters will be re-posted as they are re-written. As the author I feel that Dirty Secrets was very amateur, poorly written and had horrible grammar, and four years later I finally re-writing it. Some things will be a little different but the general whole of the story will be the same :)

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**Dirty Secrets: Chapter One**

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Takuya slouched lowly in his seat, his head resting against the window as he watched the scenery fly past as the car drove along the highway. He caught his glaring reflection in the window and turned his face away so he didn't have to see his angry face. They had just moved from their small city to the heart of Japan, almost five hours away from his home, his friends, his _life_. He turned the wheel on his iPod and increased the volume, trying in vain to drown out the sounds of the rest of his family's bickering about who got the bigger room. Shinya thought he deserved it, because he had more stuff than Takuya. Takuya didn't feel the need to argue because his parents already told him he could have the bigger room.

"Are we there _yet_?" Shinya whined, for what had to have been the one hundredth time since they had let this morning. It was seriously wearing Takuya's nerves thin. He was usually a fairly easy going person, but being stuck in a confined space with Shinya for too long could drive anyone mad.

"No sweetie," Takuya's mother Yuriko answered from the front as she looked back at the two boys in the rear view mirror. "Soon though. We get off on the next exit and so just ten minutes or so from there."

Takuya was startled when Shinya whacked him with his hand. He pulled his earphones out, even though he could hear with them on and glared at his little brother.

"What?" Takuya snapped.

"Takuya," His father Hiroaki's voice rang through the car, reprimanding him for snapping at his brother. "There's a soccer team at this school, I made sure. You'll be joining, right?"

"For one, you can't just _join_ a soccer team; you have to tryout. And for two, tryouts were ages ago. They probably already have a team established," Takuya grumbled out.

"So?" Hiroaki replied, his eyes focusing on the exit sign coming up. "With the skill you have you'll make it. It's only fair that they let you try out."

"Yeah, sure Dad," Takuya grumbled as he slipped his earphones back on. He didn't want to talk about soccer anymore. Soccer had been his life back home. He played soccer, he watched soccer, he coached soccer. He had been the captain of his old high school team and had won the Most Valuable Player award for three years straight. He never missed watching the pro college soccer games because it was his dream to play on a pro college team. For his community hours for high school he assistant coached five year olds.

Takuya loved soccer.

The one thing Takuya hated was math. It had been the bane of his existence all growing up. It just didn't make sense to Takuya. He hated it even more because in order to play on the team he needed to have a sixty-five average or above in each class, which had always been hard for Takuya.

They pulled into a driveway, which broke Takuya away from his thoughts. He hadn't even noticed that they were close to the new house...his new home.

"Where here!" Shinya squealed like only an annoying twelve year old could manage as he leaped from the car. "Wow! It's so much nicer then back home!" he exclaimed loudly as Takuya got out and turned off his iPod and slipped it into the pocket of his jeans.

Takuya frowned when he saw a fairly large white building. It didn't look like an average house. "What's that?" he asked his father when his parents got out of the car.

"Hmm?" he followed Takuya's direction. "Oh, it's an orphanage," he explained.

They all went into the house where all the boxes were already unpacked by the movers. Takuya sighed. He _hated _unpacking. By the time he had lugged all his stuff upstairs and his father helped him to set up his furniture the digital clock on his night stand read _10:19pm_. Takuya groaned. He still needed to shower, and he was starving. Tomorrow was Monday and his first day of school. On second thought, feeling pretty nauseous at the thought of starting at a new school, Takuya decided to skip dinner.

* * *

The ringing of the alarm clock woke Takuya out of his restless sleep. He jerked up, hitting the off button while trying to get his bleary eyes to adjust to his new bedroom with the navy walls and curtains and oak hard wood flooring. He yawned before pulling himself out of the warm cocoon of his blankets and heading for the shower.

Once Takuya was dressed and showered he ate his breakfast and brushed his teeth. His mother was bustling around the kitchen getting ready to take Shinya to school. Because his school was so much farther away she was going to drive him.

"Have a good first day sweetheart," she called to Takuya who was grabbing his backpack from the hall. "The office is expecting you, so go straight there. They'll have everything ready for you," she explained while she finished getting her stuff together. "Your father and I will be home around four."

"Okay," Takuya nodded as he laced up his running shoes. "Wish me luck," he said sarcastically.

"You're gonna get _so_ lost," Shinya laughed. "Sucker! Your school is huge."

"Brat! In two years when you're in high school I'm going to make sure everybody initiates you!" Takuya called after him as Shinya ran out the door after their mother. "Chicken," Takuya muttered under his breath.

He checked the clock and saw that if he didn't leave soon he wouldn't have time to find the office and register. He slipped out the front door with all his stuff feeling his stomach flip-flop nervously. He locked the door and headed down the driveway.

Across the street he could see another teenager walking, presumable to the same school Takuya was headed too. Takuya brightened; maybe he could make a friend before he even got to the school.

"Hi," Takuya said after he had crossed the street and caught up with the other teen. He had black hair pulled into a low pony tail, his bangs held back with a blue bandana that matched the deep blue colour of his eyes. "I'm Takuya, I just moved in across the street."

The teen offered him a slight smile. "Kouji," he replied. "You enrolled at Fairfield?" he asked, meaning the high school.

"Yeah, it's my first day," Takuya answered as they walked side by side. "Its massive," he groaned when the large, four story building came into view.

"You get used to it quickly," Kouji spoke quietly. "It's not too complicated."

"What grade are you in?" Takuya asked, hoping the other boy was in the same grade. He seemed pretty cool, and they could walk to school together, but they could do that even if they didn't have the same classes.

"Twelve," Kouji answered, flashing him a hesitant smile. "You?"

"Same," Takuya smiled encouragingly. Kouji seemed really shy and soft spoken. Tom didn't want to come on too strongly and scare Kouji away. "So you're seventeen, right?"

Kouji nodded. "Yeah."

"Cool," Takuya said, unsure of what to say next. "Do you mind showing me around?"

"Um...I have somewhere to be right away..." Kouji said vaguely, not meeting Takuya's eyes as he continued to walk towards the large, intimidating building.

"Do you think, you could just show me to the office then?" Takuya asked, glancing at the other boy and noticing the anxious look on his face.

"Yeah. Sure," Kouji said.

Takuya didn't know what to say and the other teen didn't initiate any form of conversation so the rest of the walk was spent in silence.

They got to the school which was still basically empty, but for few students and teachers milling around, and Kouji took him into the school building and pointed out the office.

"Hey, thanks man," Takuya said as Kouji turned to leave. The black haired teenager gave him a small smile.

"No problem," he replied.

"See ya around," Takuya called before steeling himself and opening the door to the office.

Half an hour later, the first bell was about to ring for the day and Takuya, now with a schedule, timetable was stumbling around the lower level of the school attempting to find his locker. Fairfield had nearly twenty-five hundred students, and Takuya couldn't find his locker anywhere.

"Fuck," he mumbled as he wandered around the halls aimlessly, getting jostled every now and then by people heading towards their first period classes.

"Hey," a sharp voice caught Takuya's attention. He looked up and was waved over by a bubbly looking brunette who was standing by a group of lockers. He headed over to her and smiled at her. "Hiya, lost?"

"Is it that obvious?" Takuya asked, blushing a little.

"Nah, only if you know what you're looking for," she said with a smile. "I'm Mira, I'm part of Link Crew so I help the little grade nine students all the time. I can tell when somebody is lost."

"Hey, who's this?" a voice behind Takuya asked, and he turned to look just as Mira said, "hey, Kyle!"

"Oh, right," Takuya said. "I'm Takuya."

Mira and Kyle helped Takuya find his locker, which was a lot closer than Takuya thought it would have been. They waited till Takuya put his lock on and dropped off the stuff he didn't need before they began to walk towards Takuya's first period class. They were going to show him where it was.

"Play sports or anything like that?" Kyle asked as they stopped outside of the Biology classroom, Takuya's first class of the day.

"Uh, yeah," Takuya nodded. "I was big into soccer, really big. I used to be captain at my old school."

"_Was_ into soccer?" Mira asked, raising a finely plucked eyebrow. "Why was?"

Takuya shrugged. "You know, new school and all that. The seasons halfway through already and tryouts have already happened so..."

"Really now?" Kyle said, raising his eyebrow, much like Mira had just done. "Tell you what Takuya I'm captain of Fairfield's team, and I'll talk to coach about letting you tryout. He's usually pretty good about things like that."

"Really?" Takuya asked, brightening up. So far, his day was getting better and better. The bell rang loudly, signalling the beginning of the day.

"Yeah, no problem," Kyle said, waving it off. "I'll meet you by your locker tonight after school to tell you what coach said, see ya Takuya!"

"By Takuya!" Mira called over her shoulder as she joined a gaggle of girls and began to walk away. Tom slipped into the class room feeling awkward as he walked to the front of the teacher's desk, the form he needed to give to them in hand.

Math was, by far, the bane of Takuya's whole existence. Simple math like adding , subtracting, multiplying or dividing was no problem for the brunette but once you started adding vectors, perfect squares and trigonometry into the mix Takuya was as good as lost.

Having to keep an average above sixty-five was hell for Takuya, and nearly impossible. It didn't matter how long Takuya stared at the math equations written up on the front board of the room, the numbers just didn't make sense. Throwing letters into the mix didn't help Takuya at all either.

Who cared what the total of x squared plus the square root of 25 to the power of ten to the negative eight equalled anyways. Where on Earth was this going to score into him playing soccer for the rest of his life...oh right, _nowhere_.

Takuya took a deep breath and glanced round the room. Nobody else seemed to be having the same difficulties as him, and Takuya wanted to slam his head off the desk when the teacher approached him.

"Having some difficulties?" He asked, studying Takuya's blank paper.

"A few," Takuya admitted honestly...well, partly. He was having more than a few difficulties trying to make sense of the mass of numbers on the over head board. "It's been awhile since I did this kind of stuff."

"Well, if you need any addition help you know where to find me, okay?" He offered with a kind smile. Takuya nodded and the man turned around to walk back to his desk, but before he got there he stopped to take a look at Kouji's sheet, the boy that Takuya had met early.

"Very good," the man said as he eyed it up and down. "Perfect," he added before glancing back at Takuya and the empty desk beside him. Kouji. "Takuya," he called out and motioned him over.

Takuya grabbed his stuff and walked over to where Mr. Black was standing.

"Try working with Kouji, he's excellent at this sort of stuff. If you get stuck, ask him and he'll help you out, alright?" Mr. Black said as he looked between the two boys.

"Sure," Takuya said as he slid into the empty seat beside Kouji as Mr. Black walked away. "Hey," he said to Kouji as he looked at the sheet on the black haired boys desk. His neat writing filled out the page with more x's and q's and numbers to the power of squared roots and negative fives then Takuya had ever remembered seeing before in his life.

"So," Kouji said awkwardly. "Are you having a little trouble?"

Takuya rolled his eyes. "Little is an understatement," he complained. "Math is so stupid."

"Do you get any of the stuff on the board?" Kouji asked, looking at Takuya's blank sheet.

"Uh...the second one, and I think the fourth," Takuya said, studying the questions up on the white board.

"Well," Kouji said. "That's a start, here, I'll explain to you how to do them."

That's how the rest of Takuya's math class progressed, with Kouji attempting to teach Takuya the basics of what they were currently learning. By the end of the class Takuya was still confused but he did have a better grasp on what he was supposed to be doing.

Now all he needed was to be able to do it...which, for Takuya, was easier said than done.

Takuya was grateful it was the last class of the day as he fled the room with Kouji and headed to his locker. Kouji's locker was a few down from his, which made Takuya smile.

"Hey, you want to walk home with me?" Takuya asked, dropping his bag by his feet.

Kouji looked a little flustered. "Um, if you really want to."

"Yeah," Takuya flashed him a bright grin. "Come on," he added.

"Takuya!" a sharp female voice caught his attention as Mira came around the corner and waved at him, Kyle in tow.

"Hey, coach is willing to talk to you right now if you're up for it," Kyle said over the noise of the other students.

"Oh shit!" Takuya exclaimed. "That's awesome! Sorry Kouji," he added to the raven haired teen who stepped backwards away from Takuya and the other two teens.

"Fag," Mira spat. "What're you doing talking to him, Takuya?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Takuya stared, stunned for a second. Kouji just dropped his eyes to the floor and didn't look up.

"He was the first person I met here, he helped me out and stuff," Takuya replied, confused.

"Yeah well, I guess nobody gave you any warning huh?" Mira spat, her eyes still gazing spitefully at Kouji. "Go home," she said pointedly. "Mommy's waiting!"

Takuya watched as Kouji's eyes darkened.

"Oh wait, she's dead!" Mira exclaimed with fake surprise. "Well, whose fault is that? Hmm?"

Kouji whirled around and walked away as Takuya watched in shock at how _nasty_ Mira was. Kyle just watched the whole scene go down with an amused smile on his face.

"What the hell was that?" Takuya asked, feeling uncomfortable. He had never seen something so _cruel_ done to another student.

"Oh he's a loser," Kyle said, shrugging. "He lives over at the boy's house not far from the school."

"Apparently he killed his parents or something, or he killed his mom and his dad committed suicide, I'm not really sure," Mira added with a shrug. "Who cares, like Kyle said, he's a loser, and such a girl."

"He killed his parents?" Takuya asked, feeling his stomach knot up. Did he really hang out with someone who had killed his own parents? But...if he had, would he really be coming to school with no punishment?

"Yeah, apparently. And he's such a freak none of his other relatives wanted him so he's been living at the boy's home for so long, since before freshmen year," Kyle explained. "who cares about the fag, let's go meet the coach."

Takuya felt a little torn. Half of him wanted to just agree with Kyle and Mira. They were his new friends after all, but part of him didn't feel right about the way they treated Kouji. Kouji...he seemed nice, in math he had been really sweet, helping Takuya without getting annoyed even though Takuya asked stupid questions over and over again.

"Takuya, soccer?" Mira asked, waving her hands in front of his face. "Come on!"

Takuya shrugged off the nagging feeling of guilt and followed Kyle and Mira down to the gym offices, and once he started taking to Mr. Adams, the school's soccer coach, all thoughts of the mysterious raven haired teenager vanished from his mind.


	2. Chapter Two

Warnings: offensive language/swearing, male/male pairing

Disclaimer: Do not own Digimon or any of the characters used.

Author's Notes: Re-written, posted 2010-09-17.

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**Dirty Secrets: Chapter Two**

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Takuya had sort of, kind of on purpose but not really been avoiding Kouji. Every time he saw the raven haired teen he felt a swell of guilt and he figured it'd be better to just try and avoid the teen rather than confront him. He knew that Kouji was aware of the stories that Mira and Kyle had been saying about him, and Takuya figured if he wanted to clear his own name then he could.

Until then Takuya was just...not really but really avoiding him. Not like the raven haired teen went out of his way to make any form of contact with Takuya at all. The second day the Takuya was at Fairfield Kouji gave him a slight wave and an even slighter smile. Takuya had pretended not to notice when it was pretty obvious he did. He tried to pretend the hurt look in the other teen's eyes didn't bother him but it did.

A lot.

Since then Kouji had made no sort of contact at all. That had been nearly three weeks ago. Not even in math did they talk, which was causing Takuya to suffer greatly. Kouji had taught him a little bit on that first day of class, but since then they had continuously added onto what they were learning and Takuya was so confused with the stuff they were now doing he felt like he was drowning.

Not to mention the big unit test they had coming up.

Takuya yawned as he closed his textbook as the bell rang signalling the end of class. He jumped up and grabbed his bag quickly, stuffing his text book into it without really paying attention before practically dashing towards the door. He wasn't paying attention once he got into the hallway which caused him to crash into somebody, nearly knocking them over.

"Oh, shit, sorry," he began before stopping quickly. "Oh, it's you."

Kouji recollected himself from the collision as he stood awkwardly beside Takuya. "It's me," he repeated, meeting Takuya's gaze. His stormy blue eyes held more emotions than Takuya could place. He didn't say anything else, just calmly gazed into Tom's eyes.

"Yeah..." Tom trailed off, seeing Kyle approaching with a wave. Takuya knew the blond was within earshot and he felt pressured to be on Kyle's good side. He had, after all, managed to score Takuya a spot on the soccer team. "Well, watch it...fag," Takuya snapped.

Kouji's eyes narrowed with anger, or maybe it was because he was hurt by Takuya's words.

"You're no better than the rest of them, you know that?" Kouji asked before a mocking laugh escaped his lips, but there was no humour behind it. "And I thought you were actually different," Kouji stormed away down the hall as Kyle clapped Takuya on the back with a grin.

"Hey, so you _do_ have a back bone in there!" he jested as Takuya, still somewhat shell shocked from the words he had spat at Kouji, headed to his locker and dumped his school stuff in favour for his soccer gear.

"I..." Takuya trailed off. "I guess I do."

"Well, you're aggressive on the field, I knew that personality was hiding somewhere inside you," Kyle laughed. "What a fairy," Kyle laughed again, referring to Kouji.

Takuya felt like a dick, but just grinned and laughed along with Kyle. "Yeah," he added weakly. "Total loser."

"Ready for the tournament this weekend?" Kyle asked, changing the subject quickly to the soccer tournament they had on the weekend. "We are going to kick ass!"

Takuya felt the familiar stirring of excitement begin to bubble in his stomach at the prospect of competition, all previous guilt forgotten as he followed Kyle down to the charge rooms to get ready for soccer practice.

Takuya threw his math binder into his backpack along with his textbook as he got the stuff he would need for the evening. He was dreading the thought of the pile of math homework he needed to finish that he had been putting off in favour to hang out with his friends, soccer practice and his general dislike for all things math related.

Glumly he kicked his locker shut and locked it before hiking his bag up on his shoulder and heading down the nearly empty hall way. He had stayed late to finish a project for his Biology class. It was easier to use school computers that trying to fight Shinya off their internet. He had a computer in his room but Shinya hogged the wireless internet stick.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and Takuya reached down and pulled it out to read the text message he had just received.

_Heya kid! what's been happening? haven't heard from you lately! 3 Izumi_

Takuya rolled his eyes as he texted back:

_Not much...been stressed with soccer and I'm gunna fail math_

Takuya didn't take his eyes off the screen as he continued to text back and forth with Izumi.

_Junpei got his new phone, 778-9485, he sent his old one thru the dryer. Fried it_

Takuya laughed. Izumi had been his best friend, and still was, back home. Junpei was Takuya's other really close friend he had as well. Izumi was the only reason he had been passing math, while Junpei had always been the entertainment when he felt like his head was going to explode.

A sudden hit of nostalgia hit him as he thought about home, and how it used to be.

Junpei and Izumi would never think to bully anybody. The three of them made a comic sight themselves. Izumi, the smart preppy one, Takuya the jock, and Junpei the slightly stocky, humorous one. They made an interesting trio but it worked for them. They balanced each other out.

Takuya's new friends were interested in four things: being popular, looking good, winning and crushing everybody who they deemed was below them. Generally not the crowd Takuya ran with but they accepted him and so far school, besides for math, had been going good.

When Tom got home from school he sat at the kitchen table determined to get through the pile of math homework he had been putting off for soccer practices. He had two sheets with thirty questions each on them to get through and he didn't know where to start. He was attempting to solve one of the simpler questions when his phone vibrated across the table, breaking his concentration.

He flipped it open and read the text message he had just received.

_Xbox live? Yeah? - 778-9485_

Takuya smiled, a text from Junpei's new cell phone. He quickly added the boy's number to his contacts before texting back.

_Ready to have ur ass handed to you?_

He piled up his math homework that he had barley gotten through five questions of. It was a lost cause anyways. He stuffed it back into his bag before going upstairs to his bedroom. He rolled his eyes at his next text from Junpei.

_I think you've forgotten who you're playin against bud_

He stuffed his phone into his pocket and got ready for a few hours of mindless, brain cell killing video games.

Takuya was gathering his books from his locker when Mira came to stand beside him with another girl that Takuya had learned was Cassandra, one of Takuya's many new 'friends' he hung around with during and after school. He was grabbing his math book even though it was his lunch hour.

"What are you doing with those?" Mira asked, frowning. "We're going into town today. Cassie's got the van today."

"I am way behind on my math homework," Takuya complained. "I really have to finish it before math class," Takuya explained.

"Oh come on," Mira exclaimed. "It's Friday! Let's go hang out in town, and have fun. We barley ever get to leave this damn school at lunch. Civilization is too far away to walk to."

Takuya bit his lip, but one look at Mira's pleading face had him agreeing with her and going into to town with them, math homework, again, forgotten in his locker.

The last thing he had expected to happen when he walked into his math classroom that afternoon was Mr. Black announcing a pop quiz.

"If you have trouble with this, you'll struggle with the unit test," he explained. "This is going to help me, and you, target where you need help."

He handed them out and Takuya stared at his sheet, lost. If only he had just worked on those damn math sheets maybe he wouldn't be sitting here, staring at his paper like an idiot while the rest of the class got to work. Takuya glanced around the room and his eyes landed on Kouji, who was calmly working through the sheet.

Maybe if he wasn't such an ass Kouji would have helped him again.

But you don't want to associate with him, remember? Takuya had to remind himself. His new friends had said some really mean things about Kouji, and they wouldn't lie to Takuya for no reason right? Which is why Takuya knew Kouji was bad news.

"Alright," Mr. Black's voice startled Takuya out of his day dreaming. "Five minutes alright? We've still got a lesson to get through today."

After the five minutes was up Takuya's page was pretty much blank, the odd shoddy equations were written down underneath some questions. Takuya sighed, resigned to his fate. It was obvious that he had failed. And epically, at that.

Takuya looked away when Mr. Black picked up his quiz, but couldn't help but peek at his teacher's expression. He felt like an idiot when the man frowned as he glanced at the paper over before putting it on top of the pile and moving on.

Takuya's plan was to slip out of the classroom as quickly as possible after class. Takuya was sitting at his desk after Mr. Black's lesson had finished when the teacher stopped at his desk while he walked around the room to see how people were doing.

"Takuya," he said quietly, "Can I have a quick word with you?"

Takuya felt a spike of embarrassment shoot through his stomach. "Uh, sure."

"I couldn't help but notice your page was really blank," he man stated, not unkindly, but in a reprimanding tone none the less. "Are you still struggling with the material?"

"I got a little behind on the homework with everything that's been happening," Takuya admitted honestly.

"I know students, for some reason, think teachers are out to get them when we try to offer help," Mr. Black said with a slight smile, "So, I was thinking, a student helper."

"Like a tutor?" Takuya asked.

"Exactly," the man said. "Just a few times a week after school or at lunch, just to help you grasp the concept of the material. One-on-one help with another student can be incredibly beneficial."

"That'd be great," Takuya said, though he really wasn't all too thrilled with the idea.

"I know you have to keep your marks up for soccer," Mr, Black said, "This will help you a lot, okay? Meet me after class."

Takuya struggled with the new material he was trying to learn for the last twenty-five minutes of class before the bell rang signalling the end of Takuya's day. Takuya gathered his things slowly and walked to the teacher's desk.

Kouji was standing there too, awkwardly. Takuya bit his lip. There was no way that _Kouji_ was struggling with the material. Not after the first day Takuya had been in class. That stuff had been a joke for Kouji. Takuya had to admit, he had to admire the strange teen's skill in mathematics.

"Kouji," Mr. Black said, turning to the dark haired teen first. "I asked you a few days ago if you'd be will to tutor a student for some extra pocket change," the man said. "Takuya is greatly in need of some help."

Takuya's insides froze suddenly.

"Would this be alright with you boys?"

Takuya numbly nodded his head. There was no point is saying no. Out of the corner of his eyes Takuya could see Kouji doing the same thing.

"Great, how about you have your first session tonight, if possible?" the teacher asked. "Discuss it. Tell me the times you guys figure out to do this, at _least_ three times a week, and let me know."

Takuya still felt a little bit numb inside. Kouji was going to be his tutor.

He wasn't sure if that worried him or made him excited.


	3. Chapter Three

Warnings: offensive language/swearing, male/male pairing

Disclaimer: Do not own Digimon or any of the characters used.

Author's Notes: Re-written, posted 2010-09-30

* * *

**Dirty Secrets: Chapter Three**

* * *

Takuya trudged down the side walk gloomily, pulling his sweater around him tightly to keep out the chilly mid October wind. Behind him, Kouji was walking, following Takuya to his house. Him and the other teen had discussed times for the math tutoring and decided on Fridays after school, Mondays after school and Wednesdays on their communal spare fourth period.

To say Takuya was unenthusiastic was an understatement.

He wasn't talking to Kouji to be mean to him, he just honestly didn't know what to say. Once they got to Takuya's house he noticed his mother was home, and Shinya already would have walked home from his bus stop down the street.

They walked up the front steps and in through the door. Inside, Takuya's house was a flurry of activity. Shinya had the television on in the living room, some tv show he always watched was playing. In the kitchen, both his mother and Shinya's laughter echoed down the hall as the two boys kicked their shoes off.

"Hi sweetheart!" Yuriko called as she rounded the corner into the main entrance. "Oh," she said, startled when she saw Kouji standing there awkwardly beside Takuya. "Hello dear, what's your name?"

"Kouji," Kouji replied quietly, glancing awkwardly at Takuya.

"Oh, you're a friend of Takuya's?" She asked, and Takuya groaned mentally.

"He's my tutor," Takuya blurted out quickly. "I was having trouble with math so Mr. Black asked Kouji to give me a hand a few times a week," he said, watching his mother's expression closely.

"Oh, well hello," she smiled at Kouji. "Thank you for helping Takuya with his math. God knows he needs it!" she said playfully, winking at Kouji. "Get to work then boys."

"My rooms this way," Takuya muttered, leading Kouji towards the stairs. "Come on."

"Oh, Kouji!" Yuriko called as they were walking up the stairs. "Will you be staying for dinner?"

"Um," Kouji said awkwardly. "I really should be getting home...so, no thank-you."

Takuya scoffed when Kouji said _home_. Kouji looked at him, obviously hurt before he quickly steeled his face into an emotionless mask. He followed Takuya the rest of the way up the stairs and into Takuya's bedroom.

Takuya shut the door behind Kouji and sat on his bed, and Kouji awkwardly sat down beside him. He pulled out his books and Takuya did the same.

"So...shall we start?" Kouji asked, not meeting Takuya eyes. "I have to be home before dinner."

"Home...you keep saying home...why?" Takuya asked, honestly curious. "You don't have a home."

Hurt flashed through Kouji's eyes again and Takuya felt a lance of guilt. "When you live somewhere for nearly five years and the same person is there for you...it becomes like the home I can't have."

Takuya felt ashamed of himself as he looked away from Kouji and back at his books. For the next half hour Kouji went over the basic concepts they were covering in math, starting to teach Takuya from the ground up and slowly build their way up to what they were doing in class.

Takuya had finished the last question out of the textbook as Kouji gathered up his books.

"What happened to your parents?" Takuya blurted out, instantly feeling like an idiot.

Kouji looked up sharply, his stormy coloured eyes met Takuya's for a few seconds before he dropped his gaze back down and fiddled with the math textbook in his hands.

"I just..." Takuya stumbled over his words. "Mira has said some really shitty things about you."

"I know she does," Kouji spoke quietly. "She has been for years."

"Why?" Takuya asked, leaning towards Kouji slightly, watching him intently.

"Hell if I know," Kouji said shrugging. "I just choose to ignore her."

Kouji stood and grabbed his stuff and Takuya scrambled to follow him. They walked back down the hall and the stairs before heading outside onto the porch.

"So, I'll see you Monday?" Takuya asked, biting his lip awkwardly.

"After school," Kouji confirmed, before he walked down Takuya's driveway. Takuya watched him walk away, his eyes glued to his slender body as he got further and further from Takuya's house. He couldn't help but notice how attractive Kouji was. Takuya turned around and went back inside with a sigh. He couldn't help but think there was a lot more to Kouji then he thought...but he wanted to know how much of what Mira was telling him was true, and how much of it was just a lie.

"The fag is tutoring you in math?" Chase, another boy on the soccer team Takuya had met through Kyle, asked with a scoff. "Sucks to be you, man."

Takuya just shrugged. "I can deal with it," he answered nonchalantly.

"I still feel for you man," Kyle said, laughing. "Imagine, having the freak know where you live!"

"Watch out at night," Mira teased him, poking him in the side playfully. "You might wake up with him trying to get you in your sleep!"

Takuya gave a half hearted laugh as the other three people at the table laughed and continued joking and mocking Kouji. Takuya just played with the French fries on his plate, mauling them but not eating them. He felt totally conflicted over Kouji.

The boy seemed nice, lonely and a little odd, but overall he seemed misunderstood. It was in Takuya's nature to befriend him, but hanging out with Mira and Kyle and their friends was really stressing Takuya out. They were the kind of people Takuya naturally avoided.

But through them he was popular, and was part of the soccer team. Without them, he had nothing.

"Hey!" Mira finally got Takuya's attention by throwing one of her own French fries at Takuya's face. "Earth to Takuya! Anybody home?"

Takuya gave her a sheepish grin. "Sorry, thinking."

"When's your next tutoring session with the freak?" she asked after she took a drink of her pop. "Maybe we should drop by and have a little fun."

Takuya felt a surge of dread fill his stomach. "I know you guys hate Kouji and all but the kid is really good at math, and unless you want me kicked off the soccer team I need him to tutor me."

"Okay, okay," she said, backing off. "Just a suggestion, but we won't bug you if you don't want us to."

Finally, classes were over and Takuya and Kouji were in Takuya's bedroom, slowly going over problems and the theory of the math. Takuya was picking it up slowly, but some progress was better than no progress.

"You know," Takuya said as he took a break from the equations on the sheet. "You never did tell me about your parents."

"Not much to tell," Kouji said quietly.

"Mira says you killed them," Takuya said, watching Kouji out of the corner of his eye. The raven haired teenager scoffed.

"Do you believe her, Takuya?" he asked, looking into Takuya's chocolate coloured eyes.

"I don't want to believe her," Takuya said honestly. "Should I believe her?"

"My dad was shot and killed," Kouji said quickly. "In a robbery. My mother committed suicide a little under a year later. I was seven."

Takuya bit his lip, completely unsure of what to say. He had not been expecting Kouji to blurt out what happened so quickly. Takuya looked up at Kouji's face and noticed the faraway look in his eyes, the glassy appearance of them. He also couldn't help but notice how beautiful Kouji looked.

Kouji turned to him suddenly and gave him a smile, an upward twitch of his lips that held no real happiness.

"I miss them so much," he said, and Takuya felt like the biggest asshole in the world. That, and Mira was an effing bitch. "I don't know where the rumours started, or really why Mira hates me so much...but...I wished they'd just stop, because it hurts."

"I'm sorry," Takuya said quickly. "For saying those things to you before."

"It's not your fault that Mira poisoned you against me," he gave Takuya another weak smile. "Let's finish this stuff," Kouji said suddenly.

Takuya could barley focus on the work after that. All he could focus on was the heartbroken look in Kouji's stormy blue eyes.


	4. Chapter Four

Warnings: offensive language/swearing, male/male pairing

Disclaimer: Do not own Digimon or any of the characters used.

Author's Notes: Re-written, posted 2010/09/20.

* * *

**Dirty Scerets: Chapter Four**

* * *

"So...that's all I do?" Takuya asked, staring at the sheet of math equations Kouji had written all over to help teach Takuya the steps. "Is it really that easy?"

"Yeah," Kouji said as he leaned over the library table, his arm brushing against Takuya's. "Just don't forget to square it and you're all good, and always remember to factor it, or you'll get messed up answers and the equation won't solve right."

"How is it that you are so good at this stuff?" Takuya asked, honestly jealous of Kouji's natural ease with math. Kouji just shrugged and looked away sheepishly.

"I don't know," he answered. "How is it that you're so good at soccer?"

"How do you know I'm any good?" Takuya countered back with a playful grin. "Maybe I am actually really horrible at it."

"I doubt it," Kouji said with a small smile. "I saw you practicing one day," Kouji said with a small blush. "You're really good."

"Really?" Takuya asked, his interested piqued. "When was this?"

"Maybe your third day here?" Kouji said. "I stayed late to finish an English assignment and when I went outside you and Kyle were in the back field practicing."

The mention of Kyle's name brought Takuya back to reality. He and Kouji were sitting in the library, surrounded by other students. It was fourth period, and they both had a spare so they had decided to dedicate it to Takuya's math tutoring...instead they were sitting in the library...flirting with each other?

Takuya couldn't deny that Kouji was extremely attractive, but he knew if he hung out with him what little reputation he had at Fairfield would be dragged through the dirt by Mira.

Takuya bit his lip as he looked at Kouji, who was avoiding his gaze. "Yeah..." he said to the raven haired teen quietly. "So...is that all for today?"

"I guess so," Kouji answered as he packed up his stuff. "I'll see you Friday night then."

"Do you want to hang out tonight?" Takuya blurted out quickly, embarrassed. Screw reputation.

"Hang out...?" Kouji asked, looking unsure. "I don't know."

"Come on," Takuya urged. "We could...just hang out at my place and watch movies?"

"You could come over to my place," Kouji said with an upraised eyebrow, he felt suspicious about the whole situation, no matter how much he wanted to believe in Takuya.

"Okay," Takuya agreed immediately. "We can walk there after school."

"No soccer practice tonight?" Kouji asked as he zipped his bag up.

"Oh, shit!" Takuya said as they walked side by side down the deserted hall leading away from the library and towards the lockers. "I have practice after school."

"If you were actually being honest," Kouji said, keeping his eyes focused straight ahead as they walked, "You could come over after soccer, meet my foster parents."

Takuya opened the door leading to the stairwell for Kouji with a smile. "I'd like that," he told the raven haired teen honestly. "Can you...explain to me how your, uh, family works?"

"I live with Max and Ruth, they run the, boy's home, I guess it'd be called. It's a little larger than your average house, because it's designed to hold up to eight kids at a time."

"So, are you guys...up for adoption?" Takuya asked, "That sounds really stupid, sorry," Takuya lamented when he said the question out loud. Kouji just laughed softly.

"Generally we're all troubled teens over the age of fourteen, so the chances of being, adopted, as you said, are pretty slim. Basically we get raised till were eighteen and out of the system and on our own. "

"So, you live with eight other teens? Doesn't that drive you crazy?" Takuya asked as they neared the locker bay. A few people were standing around but no one Takuya knew. Living with Shinya was hard enough, but to have eight other guys? Takuya would cry.

"Oh god no," Kouji said immediately with a grimace. "Max and Ruth, as much as they hate the idea, but the home is getting closed, so Max and Ruth will run it till the three of us turn eighteen and then it's done. So, just two other guys, Nick and Edgar."

"So...Max and Ruth, are they like you're parents?" Takuya asked softly, watching the small frown appear on Kouji's face. "I mean, I know you said your parents...died, but..."

"No, I get it," Kouji said with a slight waiver in his voice though his face remained stoic. "Max...he really helped me when I was messed up. He's the closest thing I have to a father and Ruth is just the sweetest women you could ever meet. They offered me a home with them when I turn eighteen, until I get my stuff together and figure out what's going on, Nick and Edgar both turn eighteen soon, within six months so I'll be the last kid there."

"Really?" Takuya asked, surprised. "That's allowed?"

"No, not really," Kouji answered with a shrug. "But since they're getting out of the business and no longer fostering kids it really doesn't make a difference. I'll be eighteen so it's my choice where I go after the home."

The bell rang and started both the boys. Takuya gave Kouji a grin. "See you tonight then?" he asked.

"Yeah," Kouji answered, meeting Takuya's brown eyes with his blue ones. "I'll see you later," he said as he took a step back.

"Bye," Takuya said reluctantly before he turned around and walked away feeling happier than he had felt in a while.

* * *

Takuya walked up the driveway to the odd house on the corner, the sign by the driveway read: _Fairfield Children's Home,_ it was a little weathered but looked like it was in fairly good condition. The house it's self was large with white panelling, there was two cars in the driveway which Takuya assumed belong to...Max and Ruth, as Kouji had called them earlier.

Takuya felt anxious as he approached the door, and he bit his lip hard and ignored the urge to bale and runaway. Kouji had come and met his family...so now Takuya was going to do the same for his.

He took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. He had to wait for a few minutes but through the tinted glass on the sides of the door he saw a figure approaching but he had no idea who it was. The door opened revealing a short, friendly looking women who smiled at Takuya.

"Hello, you must me that friend of Kouji's," she said as she beckoned him inside. "I'm Ruth."

"Hello," Takuya said, shaking her offered hand. "I'm Takuya," he added, feeling awkward. The room he was standing in was almost an office, a computer desk and with chairs was sitting in front of him, to the left, and to the right was a doorway.

Takuya kicked his shoes off and neatly placed them by the door and followed Ruth as she beckoned him further into the house. A large, open style kitchen and dining room met his eyes next, designed to accommodate and feed a large family, or in this case, orphaned children.

"Our house is a little unorthodox," Ruth said as Takuya followed her through the kitchen and down the hall towards a living room type area, "But I'm sure Kouji told you about it already."

"He told me a little bit about it...it's closing?" He asked, shifting awkwardly.

"Unfortunately," Ruth said with a sad smile. "We're not being funded anymore, so once the boys are eighteen they'll probably sell this place and I'll go back to being a social worker and Max, my husband, will go back to his lawyer duties."

"Oh," Takuya said, unsure of what else to say. Kouji appeared at the top of the stairs. Gracefully and quickly he descended them and smiled.

"Hello," he said, and Takuya smiled back at him.

"Hey," he answered, taking a step closer to him unsurely. Ruth watched the interaction between them closely.

"Let go upstairs, to my room," Kouji said as he met Ruth eyes. "That okay?"

"As long as you're okay with it," she answered, stepping back. Takuya noticed the odd look she was giving the two of them and it bothered him. He quickly followed Kouji up stairs, following the raven haired boy into a neat, but obviously lived in bedroom. It was clean, but had the odd things laying around, strewn about the room. The room had a twin sized bed, sitting in the corner, a bedside table with a lamp, and a desk with small, folded up laptop sitting on it.

"So yeah," Kouji said, waving his arm a little. "My room."

"You seem..." Takuya trailed off, watching the way Kouji moved around the room. "A lot more...free?"

"What?" Kouji asked, tilting his head slightly. Takuya thought he looked adorable. Like a puppy. "Free?"

"You're so reserved at school," Takuya said hastily to make sense of what he said. "Here you act so..."

"Comfortable?" Kouji asked, flopping down onto the bed. "Confident?"

"Yeah I guess," Takuya said as he sat down on the chair by the computer desk. "You seem happy."

"I guess that's what happens when you don't always have people judging you and rumours being spread," Kouji said, looking away from Takuya with a frown. "It's hard when people always whisper behind your back."

"I'm sorry I was such an ass to you," Takuya said as he felt guilt gnawing at his insides. "I should have gotten to know you before I immediately listened to what Mira and Kyle and all them said."

"That's the problem though, isn't it?" Kouji asked, giving Takuya a crooked smile. "But anyways...want to watch a movie or something?"

Takuya nodded. "Sure, I brought some movies, I just grabbed whatever though so..."

Takuya and Kouji looked over the movies and Takuya let Kouji pick one. Once they had set it up, they were sitting together on Kouji's bed, the old TV in Kouji's bedroom was crappy, but played the movie decently. It was weird compared to the flat screen Takuya had in his room.

Takuya was trying to focus on the movie Kouji had picked out, _Avatar_, but it was hard with Kouji's leg brushing against his every now and then unconsciously. He sat stiffly with his back against the wall, trying to ignore the heat radiating off Kouji's slim form. Takuya glanced at Kouji quickly, noticing the raven haired boy's attention was stuck firmly on the screen. Takuya bit his lip, _hard_, when all he could think about was how attractive Kouji looked.

A knock on the door startled both boys. "Come in," Kouji called, meeting Takuya's eyes.

"Dinner," a man called as he opened the door. "Hey kiddo."

"Max," Kouji groaned, blushing. "This is Takuya."

"Ruth mentioned you had a friend up here. Dinner is ready, so come down, Ruth made lasagne," he smiled; he had bright blond hair and even brighter blue eyes. "You're welcome to stay, Takuya. It's nice to meet you."

He closed the door behind when he left and Takuya looked at Kouji.

"Would you like to stay?" Kouji asked, and Takuya thought he could almost detect a hopeful hint to Kouji's voice.

"I should head home," Takuya said, reluctant to hurt the dark haired boy's feelings but desperate to escape his presence before he did something he regretted. "I'll see you Friday, my place again."

"Okay," Kouji said softly. "Bye Takuya."

As Kouji watched the brunette gather his stuff and leave, he couldn't help but try to contain the feeling of butterflies that he felt fluttering around in his stomach.


	5. Chapter Five

Warnings: offensive language/swearing, male/male pairing

Disclaimer: Do not own Digimon or any of the characters used.

Author's Notes: Re-written, posted 2010-11-03.

* * *

**Dirty Secrets: Chapter Five**

* * *

"He's a stupid slut," Mira's said as she sat across from Takuya at a table in the cafeteria. "He's just an ugly little bastard with no life. And he has no friends. I feel so bad for you Takuya, I really do," she stated as she speared a green leaf of lettuce drenched in salad dressing and ate it. "I'd kill myself if I had to spend so much time with him."

Takuya tried to ignore the comments as best as he could. He really liked hanging out with Kouji. He was angry at himself for running away from the other teen last night but Takuya couldn't handle how much he wanted to be with Kouji, now, as best as he could, he was trying to accept the new feelings. It's not like he really meant to leave so early the night before, but he had to escape before he did something...inappropriate.

"That Kouji kid?" Samantha asked as she ate a French fry drowned in ketchup. Takuya didn't like her, she was a snotty, rich girl know it all. "God I know."

"He's not _that_ bad," Takuya said moodily as he watched Kouji walk across the cafeteria. He turned around and met Mira's furious gaze.

"Not that bad?" she parroted Takuya, raising an eyebrow. "Just what do you mean by that?"

Takuya glanced away from her eyes guiltily. "Nothing...he's just not all that bad, when he's quite. He's helping me pass math, isn't he?" He tried to just make it seem like he didn't care about Kouji at all. "If I don't have at _least_ a sixty or up in every class, I can't play soccer."

Samantha snorted. "If you're so bad at math then why did you take it again? Grade twelve math isn't a required credit to graduate."

Takuya really didn't like this girl. "My dad wanted me to take it again. He said I shouldn't let my weakness get the better of me, and it would be valuable to have later in life."

"That's dumb," Mira commented, eating more of her salad. "Should we go see a movie or something Friday night?"

Samantha she couldn't, saying how she had some family thing to go to in the city. Mira turned to Takuya and looked at him expectantly.

"I'm busy Friday night," Takuya said with a shrug. "Sorry."

"Doing what?" Mira complained, tossing her salad container into the garbage. "Kyle's already told me there's no soccer practice on Friday!"

"Kouji and I do math on Fridays," Takuya said and then sighed. "My parents were sort of pissed that I was doing so bad at math. They don't want me to go out on the weekends anymore," he lied to get out of hanging out with Mira any more than necessary.

She frowned. "You're no fun," she whined.

Takuya just wanted to get away from Mira as fast as he could. When the bell rang signalling the end of his lunch period and that his math class was starting Takuya couldn't be happier. Ever since the dark haired boy had started tutoring Takuya they had sat beside each other in math. Having Kouji help him during the math class was also making a big difference in his marks. On the last test he got a seventy-two percent, basically a B- which was _amazing_ for him.

"Hey," Takuya said as he slipped into his seat beside Kouji.

"Hi," Kouji said, before turning away quickly.

Takuya frowned. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Kouji turned to him and gave him a little crooked smile. "What?"

"You just seemed...distant?" Takuya asked, wringing his hands nervously as he watched Kouji take out his books.

"Oh no..." Kouji said, glancing at Takuya in a way that made Takuya think he was shy. "Just, you left my house really fast last night."

"Oh," Takuya said, feeling his face flush. "I just had to get home for dinner," it was a lie, but he was doing it to protect Kouji's feelings, so that made it okay, right?

"Oh," Kouji said, his eyes seemed brighter, and he looked happier than Takuya had seen him in a while. "I thought maybe you thought I was weird or something and wanted to leave."

"Oh, god no!" Takuya said hastily as Mr. Black walked into the class room and the second bell rang signalling the start of the period. "I loved hanging out with you."

"Really?" Kouji asked, glancing uncertainly at Takuya, a shy smile gracing his features.

"Really," Takuya bit his cheek. "I was thinking...do you wanna go out with me on Friday night?"

Kouji brightened visibly. "It's a date," he said, stormy eyes meeting Takuya's happily.

"A date?" Takuya teased slightly, smiling at the thought of going on a _date_ with Kouji.

"Oh...no, I mean, not if you don't want, I was just saying...it's just a figure of speech and I-"

Takuya cut Kouji's nervous rambling off with a raised hand and a smile.

"It's a date," he confirmed, and he could barely contain the grin at Kouji's adorable smile he got in turn for his words.

* * *

Kouji jittered nervously around his room as he pulled out different tops and jeans out of his meagre selection. He quickly changed into his choice of dark, straight legged jeans. Not the skinny jeans that so many teens were wearing now a days, these were just semi form fitting jeans, Kouji's favourite pair. He pulled a little band tee shirt over his head and threw a grey sweater over his shirt. He looked in the mirror on his closet door at himself. He thought he looked decent.

A knock on the door startled him. "Come in," he called, turning and waiting for whoever it was to enter.

"Hey kiddo," Max said as he opened the door. "Heard from Ruth that you were going on a date?"

Kouji blushed. "It's not...I don't think it's really a date, I think we're just going out as friends," Kouji said as he fisted his hands into his pockets.

"Whatever happens," Max said as he rested a hand on Kouji's shoulder and squeezed. "Just don't do anything you're not comfortable with, alright? Don't let yourself get into any situations that make you uncomfortable."

Kouji avoided Max's eyes as he fluttered around the room uneasily, his heart pounding. "I know," he said, feeling his chest tighten with anxiety. "I won't."

"Alright kiddo," Max said as he started to leave Kouji's room. "Have fun."

Kouji was a bundle of nerves, nervous and jittery. He liked Takuya,_ liked_ him, liked him, and that made him nervous. Takuya had the power to crush him. Common sense told Kouji to avoid Takuya at all costs, he _was_ a friend of Mira's...but it was Kouji's heart that was causing all the problems. Kouji had never had someone really want to take the time to get to know him, not that he blamed them. He would have avoided himself too if he knew half the lies that Mira was spreading about him. Kouji had just dealt with it the best he could. He'd isolated himself to avoid the cruel jokes, nasty questions, and the insults that were spat at him.

He just hoped that Takuya, after all, didn't turn out to be like all the rest, because Kouji wasn't too sure if he would be able to handle it.

* * *

Takuya wanted to shoot himself. What the hell was he thinking, asking Kouji out, on a date? Kouji was still a guy; no matter how pretty Takuya thought he looked...he was so screwed. If his dad found out, he'd be dead. There was no other way to put it. Takuya bit his lip as he paced in his room, agitated and fidgety. He couldn't not show up and bail out on Kouji that would crush the other teenager. Takuya could tell that Kouji had been lonely, isolated. But what was Takuya thinking, asking him on a date? He had been torn over the issue of the 'date' all week.

Takuya took a deep, steady breath and let it out his nose slowly. "Just do it, and get it over with," he muttered under his breath. He cleaned himself up a little before he walked downstairs to face his mother. He found her cooking dinner in the kitchen.

"Can I borrow the car tonight?" Takuya asked, leaning against the counter as he watched him mom peel potatoes.

"For?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"To go out with a friend," Takuya explained casually, hoping she wouldn't ask questions. No such luck, of course.

"With whom?" she asked as she peeled another potato. Takuya sighed.

"Nosey," he muttered. "Does it matter?"

"Um, yes," she said. "Please don't say that Mira girl. She dresses like a slut, Takuya, and her she has a dirty mouth. If I _ever_ catch you swearing like that I will personally stick a bar of soap in your mouth and _scrub_ it clean, understand? Why can'y you find nice friends, like Izumi and Junpei? They were good kids."

Takuya rolled his eyes, but he agreed with his mother. Mira did dress like a skank every now and then, and she swore like crazy when she was mad.

"Kouji," Takuya said, to stop his mother's rampage about swearing, and who he should be hanging out with versus who he shouldn't. "You like him, remember?"

"See, that who you should be hanging out with Takuya!" His mother explained as she chopped the peeled potatoes. "He's sweet, has good manners and he is obviously a good student."

"So is that a yes?"

'"Go on!" she exclaimed, waving her hand. "Get lost, text me later with the details, if you don't I'll call you!" she threatened, and Takuya scampered away, ready to meet Kouji. He'd be on time too!

Takuya picked Kouji up who was ready and waiting for him and they headed out on their way for the date. Takuya was heading to a part of town that wasn't a common place for the students of Fairfield to hang out, partially because he wanted to avoid other students and also because that's where the destination of their date was. Takuya was just hoping he didn't get lost. He was new to the area and he hadn't done much driving since they moved into their new house because almost everything was close enough for Takuya to walk to.

Takuya glanced over at Kouji again, who was sitting quietly beside Takuya in the passenger seat, fiddling with the sleeves of his thin, black jacket. Kouji glanced over at Takuya and Takuya looked back at the road quickly, just as the light in front of him turned green.

"Will you _please_ tell me where we're going?" Kouji asked, watching the other cars on the road pass by.

"You'll find out," Takuya said, giving Kouji a quick, sly smile. Takuya had just planned on taking Kouji out for a movie before he remembered that Mira could possibly be at the movies tonight, and that wouldn't go over well, so Takuya had come up with a brand new, _better_ idea. He signalled to turn left onto a small street, and Kouji watched him slightly warily.

"Please?" Kouji asked again, and Takuya could sense a tone of worry in his voice. He was nervous, sitting stiffly in the seat beside him. Takuya gripped the steering wheel hard when he saw how upset looking Kouji was.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Takuya asked softly. "Do you want me to pull over?"

"I just...get anxious sometimes, I'm sorry," Kouji said, taking a deep breath. "You don't have to pull over."

"What's bothering you?" Takuya asked as he ignored Kouji and pulled over and turned the car off. He leaned over and caught Kouji's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Please?"

"I just...got nervous you were going to take me to some side alley and beat me up or something," Kouji gave a slight bitter laugh, and looked down to wear Takuya's hand was holding his gently. "Or that you're really just friends with Mira and this is all some sick joke," he looked up and Takuya noticed what looked like tears glittering in Kouji's stormy blue eyes.

"Kouji," Takuya said softly, "I'd never hurt you like that, okay?"

Kouji nodded and bit his lip. "Can you tell me where we're going then?"

"Skating," Takuya answered him. "It was supposed to be a surprise; the rink is about ten minutes away, if you still want to go?"

Kouji smiled shyly, reassured, and nodded.

* * *

"I'm going to fall," Kouji laughed as he set one blade awkwardly onto the ice as he gripped the side boards of the arena tightly. He set the second one on to the ice and nearly fell. "Shit," he said as he struggled to regain his balance. "I haven't been skating in so long," he said as he sent an unsure smile towards Takuya.

"Easy," Takuya said, laughing at Kouji as the raven haired boy attempted to glide a little. "Hold my hand, I won't let you fall, okay?"

Kouji looked at Takuya's out stretched hand shyly, before taking it and letting Takuya pull him across the ice, expertly dodging the other people who were already skating. Kouji wobbled but stayed up, and grinned at Takuya as he gripped the side boards tightly, and squeezed Takuya's hand with the other hand. Kouji wobbled backwards and nearly fell but Takuya caught him around the waist first, and managed to support the two of them without wiping out.

"I'm going to die," Kouji murmured into Takuya's neck, laughing slightly. Takuya laughed too, but Takuya was secretly trying not to blush at the feeling of Kouji's hot breath ghosting over his neck. Takuya had Kouji pressed against him as he gripped his waist and kept the other teenager from falling flat on his ass. He took a step back and Kouji looked mildly panicked. "I'll fall!" Kouji laughed, but Takuya grabbed his hands and tugged him forwards. He pulled Kouji around, skating backwards with ease while Kouji glided smoothly across the ice.

"See?" Takuya said, smiling at Kouji, feeling his stomach clench. "You're doing fine."

Takuya couldn't believe how anybody could say _anything_ nasty about Kouji. He was obviously smart, sweet, funny, and even though he lacked grace on the ice, Kouji had a strange sort of grace to his way of moving. Takuya squeezed his hands softly and Kouji blushed slightly...or was it just from the cold? And smiled back at Takuya.

"Why skating?" Kouji asked as Takuya carefully manoeuvred them across the ice, avoiding the other skaters, not that there was very many.

Takuya shrugged. "I wanted to do something different, special," he lied. He couldn't tell Kouji the truth. "Everybody does dinner or movies and stuff like that. I wanted to be original."

"That was...thoughtful of you," Kouji commented.

"Would you have rather dinner and a movie?" Takuya asked, slightly stung. Sure, he only avoided brining Kouji to the movies to avoid bumping into Mira, but he still though skating was original. A good idea.

"Oh, god no," Kouji laughed. "This...it was really thoughtful. Not everybody would be so creative, or go out of their way for me just so I could have a good time," Kouji said slightly wistfully. "Thank-you."

Takuya felt guilty considering he hadn't been thoughtful, he was being sneaky, and yet he was taking all the credit. But it was making Kouji happy, and a little white lie never hurt anybody, right?

After a while of skating, Kouji's hands were freezing. Takuya suggested they drive down to the cafe down the street and get hot chocolate. Hot chocolate at the arena was too expensive.

"So, what's your family like?" Kouji asked after they ordered their hot chocolate and were aimlessly wandering around the little park that was beside the cafe. They were following the little path around it. Takuya felt safe that they wouldn't bump into anybody because they were on the outskirts of the city, a pretty good hike away from where both Kouji and Takuya lived.

Takuya shrugged. "You've met them," he answered. "They're not all that great."

Kouji frowned. "I didn't really meet them well."

"My mom nags me a lot, my brother is annoying and my dad is a real pain in my ass. He haunts me," Takuya complained.

"But they're your family..." Kouji said wistfully. "Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

Takuya was oblivious by the longing in Kouji's voice. "Sometimes I wish I could trade them in," he said offhandedly.

Kouji stopped walking. "At least you _have_ a family," he said, somewhat bitter.

Takuya finely clued in. "I love them," Takuya said, "You _know_ I do, just..."

Kouji sighed and became less hostile. "I know, I understand what you mean."

Takuya stepped forward and wrapped an arm around Kouji and pulled him close. They walked along beside each other with Kouji tucked gently under his arm and pressed against his side. Takuya felt even guiltier than before. What kind of idiot complained about his family in front of an orphan? Him of course.

"It's beautiful out tonight," Kouji mentioned, changing the subject. "I just hope those rain clouds don't come this way!"

"Like you," Takuya blurted out without thinking, and he blushed immediately afterwards.

"What?" Kouji asked, gazing at Takuya in confusion.

"It's beautiful," Takuya said, feeling like a fool. "Like you."

"Oh" Kouji murmured, gazing at Takuya somewhat demurely. "I don't think so."

"Don't think then," Takuya said, taking his own advice and stepping forwards. Kouji was staring at him with half lidded eyes as Takuya leaned forward. Kouji lips were parted slightly as they stood face to face, lips nearly touching. Takuya's heart was pounding in his chest, and his stomach was practically tied in knots he was so nervous.

Out of nowhere, it began to pour. "Oh shit!" Takuya yelped, stepping backwards. Kouji's eyes widened in surprise, but before Takuya could notice his crushed expression he grabbed the raven haired teen's hand and tugged, pulling Kouji along behind him through the rain and back through the park towards the car. Takuya's heart was pounding in his chest, but not from the exertion, but from how close he had been to _kissing _Kouji. And the scariest part of it all? Takuya really _wanted_ to kiss Kouji, even if he was a boy.

They were soaked by the time Takuya got the car doors open, Takuya burst out laughing as he got the ignition started. He pressed his hands over his face as he fought the laughter, he couldn't even determine why he was laughing, he just kept going. His side was in stitches when his laughter finally faded. Takuya realised Kouji wasn't laughing with him and the brunette sent a worried look at the raven haired teen.

Kouji's hands were clenched tightly against his thighs. He was staring straight ahead out the windshield, a stony look was present on his face, and his eyes looked glassy.

"Kouji?" Takuya asked, confused.

"Take me home," Kouji bit out. "Just take me the hell home."

"What?" Takuya asked, dumbfounded. What had he done? "Why?"

"If you're just going to..._laugh_ at me," Kouji spat, "Then you're worse than the other guys at school. Please...just take me home."

"Laugh at you?" Takuya sputtered "What?"

And then it dawned on him.

_Kouji lips were parted slightly as they stood face to face, their lips nearly touching. Takuya's heart was pounding in his chest, and his stomach was practically tied in knots he was so nervous._

_Out of nowhere, it began to pour. "Oh shit!" Takuya yelped, stepping backwards._

"Oh, no, no, no," Takuya said frantically. How much more could he ruin this date than he already did? "I was laughing because of the rain, the bad timing, I wasn't laughing at you."

Takuya realised the glassy look in Kouji's eyes were tears. He pushed up the middle compartment of the car and slid close to Kouji and reached out with his hand to tilt Kouji's face in his direction. He let his other hand rest on one of Kouji's slim thighs.

"You weren't mocking me?" Kouji asked quietly, his eyes meeting Takuya's with a look that Takuya could only describe as longing.

"No," Takuya said, steeling his nerves. He was going to do this. "Do you think this is mocking?"

Takuya leaned forward and caught Kouji's lips in a soft, gentle kiss. For a second, Takuya thought Kouji wasn't going to kiss him back, but when he did, Takuya moved his hand from cradling his cheek to the back of his head, carding through the soft black hair Kouji had neatly tied in a pony tail, held back with his bandana. Kouji gripped Takuya's sweater tightly in his hands. The rain pattered across the windshield as the car idled. The air was cool outside and mingled with their heavy breathing caused the windshield to fog up slightly.

When they parted, Kouji looked dazed. "Wow," he murmured as he reached up and touched his lips gently before he glanced at Takuya and blushed.

"I like you," Takuya said, "a lot."

"Nobody has ever done something like this for me," Kouji said, glancing away from Takuya and out the window.

"It's almost nine," Takuya commented, unsure of how to respond to Kouji. "Should I be getting you home?"

Kouji glanced at the clock in the dashboard. "I guess so," he said, before he reached over and grabbed one of Takuya's hands and sent a shy smile in the brunette's direction. "I had a really good time, thank-you for that."

Takuya just smiled at him, "It was worth it."


	6. Chapter Six

Warnings: offensive language/swearing, male/male pairing, _mentions_ of non-consensual sex and molestation. 

Disclaimer: Do not own Digimon or any of the characters used.

Author's Notes: Re-written, posted 2010-12-14.

* * *

**Dirty Secrets: Chapter Six**

* * *

Kouji bit at the end of his pen as he studied a particularly difficult question in his math text book, contemplating the best method to solve it with the least amount of work involved. Kouji glanced up and smiled as he watched Takuya work on his own math questions, the same ones Kouji was working on, he was just a lot slower than Kouji was at solving them. Kouji's stomach fluttered as he let his mind wander back to their date, his first date, his first kiss.

Kouji sighed and stared distractedly at the textbook.

"Is something wrong?" Takuya asked, breaking Kouji's reverie of their date Friday night.

"Uh?' Kouji asked, blinking and then staring at the brunette. "Nothing, just...thinking," Kouji said as he gave Takuya a shy smile. Takuya smiled back at him before he continued to work on the questions in front of him. Kouji went back to solving the problem he was stuck on himself. Before he knew it, Takuya was practically done, only left with a handful of questions he was unsure of how to solve but once Kouji explained them he instantly knew how to figure them out.

"You're getting this new material really well," Kouji said, smiling. "Soon you're not even going to need me!"

"Nah," Takuya said, scooting closer to Kouji on the bed in Takuya's bedroom where they were doing their homework together. "Can I...kiss you?" Takuya asked brazenly, making Kouji blush as Takuya leaned close to him, so close Kouji could feel Takuya's breath ghosting across his lips.

"Yes," Kouji breathed, and closed his eyes as Takuya leaned forward and captured Kouji's lips in a soft, gentle kiss. Takuya scooted a little closer, resting one hand on Kouji's skinny hip, his thumb stroking the sliver of pale skin that showed between Kouji's tee shirt and his jeans while his other hand reached up and ran his fingers gently through Kouji's ponytail. When they parted Kouji looked down and blushed as Takuya grinned at him.

"Do you wanna stay for dinner?" Takaya asked, squeezing Kouji's hip gently.

"I'd have to call home and ask," Kouji said as he leaned into Takuya's gentle touches, allowing himself to get used to the feeling of Takuya's hands on his body. It was all so new and terrifying for him, but he was trying as hard as he could. "But I'd like to."

"My parents..." Takuya started, looking unsure of himself. "They _can't_ know, okay?"

"Know about...?" Kouji asked, unsure of what he and Takuya even had.

"About us," Takuya said. "It has nothing to do with you, you're beautiful, but my dad will kill me, okay?" Takuya came right out and said it and it made Kouji blush as he glanced away to avoid Takuya's gaze.

"I understand," he said honestly.

Takuya looked at the raven haired boy in front of him seriously. It felt so good to just kiss him, something Takuya never experienced with a girl. He had kissed girls before, sure, but never had they made Takuya feel so...so...indescribable. But he couldn't tell his parents, his dad would freak and probably ban him from seeing Kouji and Takuya would fail math if that happened, and he'd also miss the raven haired teen who was avoiding his gaze.

"I really like you, okay?" Takuya said, catching Kouji off guard. "My dad is really homophobic though and...He can be a dick, but just ignore him."

"I'm used to name calling," Kouji answered meeting Takuya's eyes. "I've been through a lot more than you understand Takuya, I don't want to be someone's dirty secret."

"That's not what I'm saying!" Takuya protested, sitting up straighter to meet Kouji's eyes with his fierce brown gaze. "He won't let me see you, _at all_, anymore, so it's not a matter of me being too cowardly to face my own father. It's because I didn't want to lose you!" he snapped, and Kouji clenched his fists.

"I'm sorry," Kouji said, looking at Takuya with serious eyes. "But..."

"Just wait...we're almost eighteen, right?" Takuya said, "seven months for me, eleven for you, but your, uh, parents don't care that you're..."

"That I'm bisexual?," Kouji said firmly, "No they don't. "

"Sorry I want to keep living in my house!" Takuya raised his voice again, happy that his mother had gone to pick Shinya up from a friends that afternoon. "I _know _your life isn't fucking perfect but it's better than what my dad would do to me if I told him I was gay! Your life is _nothing_ compared to that!"

Takuya did let Kouji get a word in edge wise as he stood and paced the room, angrily.

"I'm sorry your parents died! But mine would disown me, which is worse than _anything _you've been through, or anything you will go through!" Takuya raged on. "Okay? So don't try to guilt me, I know you had it tough but really, don't try to compare what you've gone through to what I'm trying to avoid."

When Takuya finally looked back at Kouji the other teen had tears in his eyes and he was shaking slightly, holding in sobs. Takuya instantly felt bad at ranting at Kouji when none of this was his fault.

"Kouji," he said, approaching the teen slowly. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"I was molested you ass," Kouji snarled, wrenching himself away from Takuya's outstretched hand. "so you compare being molested, watching your dad get shot in the chest and drowning in his own blood, and your mother committing suicide to being _disowned! _"

Kouji grabbed his bags, leaving his math textbook open on the bed as the raven haired teen fled Takuya's bedroom, tears running down his face as he struggled to see straight. Takuya watched, stunned, as Kouji left.

Molested?

"Kouji wait!" he called as he jumped up and hurried out of the room and down the stairs. He caught up to Kouji by the door, struggling to get his shoes back on. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was an ass, I was being stupid!"

He caught Kouji, wrapping his arms around the teen to hold him still. Kouji struggled in his hold, pushing against his chest as he fought against Takuya's strong grip around his waist.

"Let me the go!" Kouji cried. "I hate you, just let me go!"

"I'm sorry," Takuya just repeated, holding on to Kouji as he flailed. "I'm so sorry," he whispered in Kouji's hair as the raven haired teen started to settle down in his hold. Takuya stroked one hand over Kouji's back when the raven haired teen buried his face into Takuya's chest and cried weakly, "I'm so sorry, Kouji, I didn't mean it, I was just mad."

Takuya managed to manoeuvre Kouji back up to his bedroom to avoid any awkwardness if his mother and brother returned home while he was still holding Kouji while he cried. He shut and locked his bedroom door behind them. He sat on the bed against the wall and Kouji leaned into his chest and sniffled. They sat their silently as Takuya mulled guiltily over what Kouji had revealed to him. He didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to upset Kouji more than he already had so he just sat there instead, holding him.

"I was seven when it happened the first time," Kouji said quietly, catching Takuya off guard. "He was our music teacher and once a week we got private lessons on an instrument of our choice, mine was the guitar."

Takuya wasn't too sure what Kouji was talking about, but he didn't want to interrupt him so he let him continue talking.

"It was maybe me third lesson when he started to...touch me," Takuya instantly realised what Kouji was speaking about and he hugged the teen tighter. "It lasted for a few months, instead of learning guitar he just...he molested me. My parents asked me what I had been learning but he told me to keep it a secret or I'd get in trouble, so that's what I told them, and they got worried when I never learned anything."

Kouji was quite for a few minutes. "They had no proof, but they confronted him...Mr. Renn, and pulled me out of the private lessons and there was a big investigation going on. We got a new music teacher and everything was quite for awhile before he showed up at our house one night with gun."

"You don't have to tell me," Takuya said softly, "Not if you don't want to," Takuya couldn't believe Kouji had lived through all this and now Mira had to make high school a living hell for him too.

"It's fine, it feels good to talk about it sometimes," Kouji said with a slight shudder and a sigh. "He shot my dad in front of me, and he...touched me again, he...raped me and then my mom got home and saw everything and freaked, he shot her too, but she survived and managed to call the cops but my dad died there, in front of me while the guy fucked me and it messed me up for a long time."

Kouji took a deep breath and continued. "I didn't speak to anybody, not even my mom, and nine months after that night she committed suicide, which messed me up even more, and then I met Max and Ruth and things started to get better but by that time I had so many issues going back to school was out of the question so they homeschooled me for awhile, until I was fourteen when I was first put back into school, Fairfield High, and you know how well that's been going."

"Kouji..." Takuya struggled to find words. "I was such a dick to you; I can't believe I said that shit to you..."

"You were mad," Kouji said with a shrug. "We all say things we don't mean when were mad."

"So you're not mad at me?" Takuya asked, meeting Kouji's slightly red rimmed stormy blue eyes.

"I'm hurt," Kouji answered, "But not mad."

Takuya didn't know if Kouji being hurt was a better alternative to being mad. He couldn't believe the things Kouji managed to live through, to survive and conquer when most other people would probably have given up. Takuya hugged Kouji close and kissed his forehead softly, which made the dark haired teen blush.

"Does this kind of stuff bother you?" Takuya asked as he held the teen, unsure of how to touch him now. "Physical contact?"

"No," Kouji said, "Sometimes I can get panicky...if I asked you to stop, would you?"

Takuya nodded. "Of course," he responded as he held the teen. He wanted to punch Kyle in the face for the shit he said about Kouji, tell Mira just how much of a stupid bitch she was. He was seething. He just had to wait till soccer season was over and then he'd stop hanging out with Mira and them, once soccer was over he'd confront them.

* * *

"So, do you play any sports?" Hiroaki asked Kouji as they all sat down for dinner. Takuya had convinced Kouji to stay for the meal, to meet his whole family, but only if he was feeling up to it. Takuya said his father could be pretty...rude. Hiroki was definitely not what you'd call open minded.

"No," Kouji answered, fidgeting in his seat.

"Kouji's my math tutor," Takuya explained to his father. "He's more into the academics."

"All men should play at least one sport," Hiroki said pointedly before eating more roast. Takuya rolled his eyes and nudged Kouji's foot under the table with his own.

"What's your favourite subject in school?" Yuriko, Takuya's mother asked after she sent a scolding glance at Shinya who was trying to get out of eating his green beans.

"I like math," Kouji said, "and I enjoy biology and chemistry and those types of classes," Kouji explained.

"Are you a nerd?" Shinya asked, not being nasty but honestly curious. "That stuff sounds like you need to be smart."

"Kouji is smart," Takuya defended with an eye roll at his little brother. "That's why he's tutoring me, remember?"

"I just thought that was because you were dumb," Shinya said back, accompanied with sticking his tongue out.

"Enough," Hiroaki snapped, causing Kouji to jump a little. "And you live over in the boy's home on the corner?"

"Yes sir," Kouji answered, looking at his plate.

"That's very unfortunate," Yuriko answered. "Does anybody want dessert?" she asked, changing the subject.

Takuya wanted to bang his head off the table. His dad made an ass of himself, as per usual.

"What are your plans for after school?" Hiroki asked, ignoring his wife.

"I'm not too sure, honestly," Kouji said as he set his fork down and clenched his fists in his lap nervously. "I was thinking maybe something in Biotechnology," Takuya joined in with his whole family when they all gave Kouji blank looks. "It's like...DNA fingerprinting, crime stuff, um, like Criminal Minds?"

"Oh, so you'd be like, all FBI like!" Shinya laughed. "You would be like Spencer Reid, the smart guy."

"Like who?" Takuya asked, lost.

Hiroki snorted. "Does it pay well?"

"Hey," Takuya broke in, glancing at the clock. "It's getting late and I should get Kouji home before his parents get worried."

Takuya grabbed Kouji's hand under the table and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you for dinner, Mr. And Mrs. Kanbara," Kouji said politely as he grabbed his book bag and followed Takuya to the door.

"What about dessert?" Yuriko questioned, looking dismayed.

"I really should get going," Kouji said, giving her a soft smile. "But thank-you," Kouji said politely again as Yuriko just gave him a smile back.

"See Takuya? That's called having manners. Maybe you could learn something from Kouji," she gave her son a cheeky grin and then addressed Kouji again. "It's a pleasure having you over, come anytime you'd like to."

"Why don't we just trade places?" Takuya said with a huff as Kouji smiled and slipped on his jacket and shoes. "Be home soon mom," he called as he let the door swing shut behind him as he followed Kouji out the door. As soon as they were down the driveway and turned the corner onto Kouji's street Takuya grabbed the dark hair boy's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Sorry for shoving you out early," Takuya grimaced. "I didn't want you to feel…I don't know. If I was you I would have been begging for a way out of that."

"It wasn't that bad," Kouji said. "A little weird, maybe."

"Thank-you for telling me all that today," Takuya said suddenly, meeting Kouji's eyes. "I made a stellar ass out of myself, I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Kouji said, a pained smile crossed his face. "Thank-you for not…thank-you for accepting me for me, I guess."

"Whoever doesn't like you, for any reason, doesn't understand what they are missing out on," Takuya said as he stopped walking and pulled Kouji up against him, pressing a soft kiss to Kouji's slightly parted lips, relaxing when he felt Kouji wind his arms around his neck and lean into the kiss. Takuya held Kouji's slim hip in one hand, the other cradled the back of Kouji's head gently.

They parted and Takuya let out a soft sigh across Kouji lips, and Kouji smiled back at him.

* * *

Max sat stiffly in his chair, twirling a pen in his hands absent mindedly as he listened to the proceedings happening in front of him. Across from him in the office at the Fairfield Boy's Home sat Mr. and Mrs. Jenson and their adoption agency representative Ms. Kirk.

"I don't understand what the issue is anymore," Andrea, Mrs. Jenson, complained as she gestured with her hands. "We filed our request _months_ ago, we passed our health checks, took all the classes, our background check was flawless, we've had social workers all over our house! There is _no_ reason why we should be held up like this! We filed our application for his adoption when he was _sixteen_, nearly a year ago!"

"Please don't get angry, Mrs. Jenson," Mrs. Kirk said coolly as she met Max's eyes. "Mr. Larson has absolutely no reason not to sign the papers and request a court hearing so your case can be reviewed by a judge. "Isn't that right, Mr. Larson?"

Max set his teeth, but had no choice. With a resigned sigh he nodded. "Is there no way to sway your decision to adopt someone else? There are many _children_ looking for adoption at the Hamilton Adoption Centre," Max said, trying one last attempt to sway the couple in front of him to a new child.

"Absolutely not," Colton, Mr. Jenson said stiffly. "We've been waiting for _months_ for this adoption process to go through. We're sorry it interferes with your…plans for the future, but it's not _our_ fault you waited so late to file an adoption request for the boy."

"We just want to provide a good home for him," Andrea said, pleading. "We have money, we could provide for him, and get him into a good school. His academic record is incredible, think of the schools we could afford to send him to!"

"He's happy here though," Max said, fighting a losing battle. "He doesn't want to leave."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Larson, but at this time the boy's opinion of where he'd be happiest is imperative. He has absolutely nothing after he turns eighteen, what the Jensons are doing is an act of great charity, taking a misguided teenager into their home and providing him with the essentials that he'll need to live a happy and successful life," Ms. Kirk stated. "Please sign the papers."

With a heavy sigh, Max signed the papers in front of him.

"Your court date will be at ten fifteen in front of Judge Anceric, good luck," Ms. Kirk stated, pleased. "If the Judge passes you case, once the papers are all signed you'll be free to take Kouji home with you."

The Jensons both smiled happily at each other when there was a knock on the door. Max felt defeated, figuring it was Ruth asking how the adoption conflict was going on he called a quite, "Come in," Kouji wasn't scheduled to be home for another forty-five minutes and even if he was home he usually didn't bother him when the door was shut in the office.

Max wanted to kick himself when Kouji opened the door, eyes bright and face flushed. A look of confusion crossed his features when he saw the other three people looking at him.

"Oh," he said, stepping back. "Sorry, I can come back later."

Max felt his throat tighten. "Stay," he managed to say. He didn't want Kouji to find out this way. The only reason he had yet to mention Kouji's to-be adoptive parents was that he had been fighting the application, but he had failed.

"He looks even more stunning in person than on film," Andrea said, causing a look of confusion to cross Kouji's face.

"Excuse me?" Kouji questioned, his face paling.

"This is Mr. and Mrs. Jenson," Ms. Kirk said, "They will be adopting you if everything goes well in the court hearing."

Kouji's startled, heartbroken gaze met Max's. "What?"


	7. Chapter Seven

Warnings: offensive language/swearing, male/male pairing, _mentions_ of non-consensual sex and molestation. 

Disclaimer: Do not own Digimon or any of the characters used.

Author's Notes: Re-written, posted 2011-01-05.

_Italics_ indicate a flashback.

* * *

**Dirty Secrets: Chapter Seven**

**

* * *

**

"This is Mr. and Mrs. Jenson," Ms. Kirk said, "They will be adopting you if everything goes well in the court hearing."

Kouji's startled, heartbroken gaze met Max's. "What?" he took a staggering step backwards, his chest felt tight and he wanted to flee but instead he sagged against the doorframe, knees threatening to buckle.

"Kouji," Max stood, walking towards him. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"But I thought...I was supposed to stay with you, to stay here," Kouji's eyes turned from heartbroken to angry in a flash. "You lied to me!"

"No, it wasn't supposed to end up like this!" Max tried to reason with the teen, but Kouji was having none of it.

"I'm finally _happy_, and you had to ruin it!" Kouji choked out, turning and fleeing. "I hate you!" Kouji yelled, managing to distance himself away from Max. Ruth rounded the corner looking startled.

"What's going on?" she asked, concerned.

Kouji just stormed past her, and up the stairs to his bedroom. He let the door slam shut with a resounding crash and collapsed onto his bed, burrowing his face into the pillow as he grit his teeth angrily, fighting back the hot sting of tears. He had cried enough that day.

His body was shaking from the restrained sobs as he clutched the pillow tighter to him, cuddling it to his chest as s heavy sigh escaped between his choked back sobs. He wished he was back at Takuya's house, in the brunette's bedroom, still laying on his bed and kissing. How had such a good day end up so bad?

* * *

It was early in the morning so Kouji's day was already bad. His eyes were puffy and sore from crying yesterday and he felt stressed out and insecure. He felt on edge, jumpy. He hadn't felt this way in a while, the panic attacks had stopped years ago, but Kouji could feel one closing in on him. He tried not to think about them, it helped keep the feeling at bay, but today they were threatening to swallow him whole.

Kouji ducked into a bathroom on his way to his locker and took a few deep breaths, happy that the bathroom was empty. He leaned against the cool, concrete wall and just closed his eyes and relaxed for a second. He went to the sink and splashed his face with some cold water and took another few deeps breaths, already feeling better.

After about fifteen luckily uninterrupted minutes Kouji left the bathroom feeling a hundred times better than when he had entered it. He felt stressed and scared about his upcoming…adoption. The loss of control is what set Kouji on edge, and he was looking forward to seeing Takuya that night. Being around the brunette help calmed Kouji down.

When Kouji was about to round the corner to go to his locker he heard Takuya's voice and froze.

"He's just a slut," Takuya's voice carried easily over the short distance. It seemed to stab Kouji right in the heart. "He's good at math and his only other talent is probably giving head," Takuya laughed. "I'm passing math again though, with a seventy-nine too!"

Kouji's heart seemed to freeze in his chest as Takuya and his gang laughed. Kouji stood, just out of sight and continued to listen, swallowing hard. After everything he had to go through, did this really have to happen to?

"He'll probably end up in a dumpster somewhere, like a dirty used up whore that he is," Takuya continued, and Kouji felt a tear slide down his cheek as he heard Takuya's cutting words. "And nobody would notice because nobody loves him."

"To think we actually thought you were going soft on us!" Mira laughed and Kouji took a slight step closer. "Nice to know you're one of us Takuya.

"Who would ever want to be friends with that freak?" Takuya said, and they laughed, all of them, Takuya included.

"Well said man," Kyle laughed, and Kouji stepped around the corner. "Well said."

Takuya met Kouji's eyes across the short distance that separated them and Kouji stared at him for a few seconds, another lone tear streaking down his face as they just stared at each other.

"I never knew I meant so little to you," Kouji finally broke the tense silence, a weak little smile playing on his lips. "Thank-you for enlightening me," and then he turned and walked away.

Kouji eyes were burning as he desperately fought the sobs that were trying to force their way out of his throat. He could hear their laughs behind him as he tried to walk faster, pushing past people roughly. He made it to the front doors of the school and escaped outside, rushing down the stairs and walking quickly away, the tears he had been fighting were steadily running down his cheeks now.

Everything was falling apart around him.

Takuya had used him, just like everybody else in his life. Nobody wanted him, Takuya thought he was a _whore_, a sob tore its way out of Kouji's throat and a young woman walking a dog stared at Kouji sympathetically as he walked past her.

Kouji finally made it back home…to the _boy's home_ and he scurried inside quietly, even though there was nobody home at the time of the day, Ruth would be at the Child Services office and Max at his law office, and the other two remaining residents would both be at school. He quickly went upstairs and into the room that was considered his and laid down on the bed. He wrapped his arms around his pillow and pulled it close to his body, cuddling it.

"_Whoever doesn't like you, for any reason, doesn't understand what they are missing out on," Takuya's said, and the words made Kouji feel hot all over, especially when the brunette pulled Kouji up against him. Kouji winded his arms around Takuya's neck when the brunette kissed him, his one hand was resting on Kouji's hip, warm despite the cool air while the other hand cradled the back of his head gently. When Takuya finally pulled back for a breath Kouji smiled at him._

The memories assaulted Kouji, and Kouji fought the bitter burn of the tears that came with them. Everything had happened so fast, the relationship he had with Takuya, if it could be called a relationship, was so new, fresh, and it had delighted Kouji.

The feeling of being wanted and desired made Kouji feel vulnerable sometimes, but Takuya had been so gentle with him, so careful, even before he knew the true extent of Kouji's past.

But it was all a joke, and Takuya didn't want him. Story of Kouji's life.

Takuya thought he was a whore, and the thought made the tears Kouji was fighting back fall rapidly.

And Takuya was right.

Nobody would ever love him; he was just a dirty, used up whore.

* * *

"You are a fucking _idiot,_ Kanbara," Takuya growled at himself as he carded his tanned fingers through his slightly damp hair. "Fucking King idiot, stupid fucking…fuck."

Takuya was dressed only in a pair of sweatpants that he threw on after he had gotten out of the shower. His day had been hell, especially after Kouji had over heard him talking to Kyle, Mira and the gang. He didn't mean one word he said.

Not one word, besides for the part about Kouji being good at math but even that was an understatement. He really made an ass out of himself, a stellar ass.

Mira had been giving him trouble about how much he had been hanging out with Kouji, in the beginning he had complained about it, Mira had reminded him, but now it was like he enjoyed hanging out with Kouji. Takuya couldn't lose their friendship, because with it went his chance to play soccer. If dream was to get noticed by a talent scout, get offered a scholarship for school.

Takuya rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hands. Was a scholarship worth the look in Kouji's eyes?

"_I never knew I meant so little to you."_

Kouji's voice kept echoing in his head, over and over.

"_I never knew I meant so little to you."_

When the truth was, Kouji meant more to him than any other person outside his family. He had wormed his way into Takuya's head, into the brunette's life and maybe…just maybe his heart too. And Takuya had ruined _all_ of it.

Making up his mind, Takuya grabbed a tee shirt and sweater, pulled on a pair of socks and headed downstairs. It was just a little past seven in the evening and his parents were in the room watching television, some crime drama show they never missed.

"Hey, I'm running over to see Kouji for a bit, okay?" Takuya said as he leaned against the living room door.

"Now?" Takuya's mother questioned, frowning. "Takuya, it's late."

"You need to make friends with real men Takuya, not sissy little girls like that skinny twig," his father commented, his eyes never leaving the TV.

"I just need some help with math, we have a quiz tomorrow and I'm having trouble with one of the questions," Takuya lied, and once he had his mother's permission he slipped back into the hall and headed towards the front door. Shinya appeared on the stairs and he looked at Takuya for a moment.

"What do you want, brat?" Takuya asked as he pulled on his shoes.

"You really like him, don't you?" Shinya asked, watching Takuya and making goosebumps rise on Takuya's arms.

"Like who, squirt?" Takuya asked, feigning dumb. "I gotta get going, can this wait?"

"Kouji, you like him," Shinya said as he descended the last few steps.

"Of course I like him numbskull," Takuya said, brushing off his brother's words as he opened the door. "He's my friend," and then he slipped out the door and let it swing shut behind him.

Takuya walked quickly to Kouji's home, not letting himself convince himself to turn around and when he got there he rang the doorbell and waited anxiously. Had Kouji told them what Takuya had said? Would they even let Takuya see Kouji?

Ruth opened the door, looking tired and worn, but smiled when she saw Takuya standing there. "Come in, come in," she said as she beckoned him inside, and Takuya followed after her.

"Hello Mrs. Larson," Takuya said politely. "Is it alright if I talk to Kouji?"

Her eyes seemed red rimmed, and Takuya felt a general sense of melancholy rolling off the tiny woman in waves. It made Takuya jumpy.

She nodded and began to walk Takuya through the house to the stairs. "He's been in his room since he got home from school," Ruth said, shaking her head. "He's taking it hard…I think we all are."

Takuya's stomach knotted tightly. "Taking what hard?"

"Oh," Ruth exclaimed, surprised. Takuya gave a slight wave to one of the other teen who lived in the house, Nick he believed. "There's been a family looking into adopting Kouji, their case has been approved to be seen by a judge."

Takuya choked slightly. "What? But weren't you guys going to keep him till he was eighteen and then letting him stay with you?"

"Max filed an application after they did but its too late…Kouji always has a home with us after he turns eighteen but for now…he will be under their custody until then, if the case goes through."

Ruth left Takuya at the bottom of the stairs and told Takuya he could go up himself. Takuya did, and knocked softly on Kouji's door. He got no answer so he knocked a little more firmly.

A muffled "what?" passed through the wood of the door and Takuya opened in, and was met with darkness. He entered the room quietly and shut the door behind him and let his eyes adjust to the darkness before he made his way over to the bed where Kouji was curled and sat down beside him.

"Hey," Takuya said softly, and he heard Kouji's breath hitch at the sound of his voice.

"What the hell do you want?" Kouji bit out, stiffening on the bed, hiding from Takuya. His voice was rough sounding, hoarse, like he had been crying. And no wonder why…he was being adopted, shouldn't that be a good thing though? And then Takuya had made a major ass of himself

"I'm so sorry, Kouji, I didn't mean a word I said, I had to get Mira off my back, I had to," Takuya said, rushed. "I had to, I was an ass, but babe you know I didn't mean any of it."

"I just want to hate you so bad," Kouji said, weakly. He sounded exhausted.

"I didn't mean it," Takuya whispered out again, laying down on the bed beside Kouji. They were separated by the blankets but that didn't stop Takuya from wrapped his arms around Kouji and pulling the smaller teen up against his chest gently. Kouji's back pressed into Takuya's chest as the brunette leaned forward and pressed a little kiss to the back of Kouji's neck.

"I just want to hate you," Kouji repeated. "I'm so fucking worthless."

Takuya felt like the king of all asses all over again.

"You're not worthless," Takuya chided gently, holding Kouji close against his. "You're smart, and beautiful and …"

"And my only talent is giving head, I know," Kouji finished for him, and Takuya felt shame flare up through his middle.

"I didn't mean a word I said," Takuya repeated again, "You're amazing."

"How do I know which side you're on Takuya?" Kouji asked into the darkness, and Takuya felt a shudder run through his body. "If you're lying to them, who says you're not lying to me?

"What?" Takuya asked, confused. "Why would I lie to both of you?"

"You're playing them, right Takuya?"When Takuya confirmed, Kouji continued. "Who says that's not all a joke and you're playing me?"

"Baby, no…" Takuya whispered, surprised at the pet name that slipped out. "Kouji…no, no, no. god no…"

Kouji slowly turned in his arms so they were laying face to face, and Takuya could see the dried tear tracks on Kouji's pale face.

"It hurts Takuya," Kouji whispered. "I just want someone to like me, for _me_, and…like you said, I'm just a worthless whore…nobody will ever love me."

"Your parents loved you," Takuya said firmly, disgusted at hearing his own words repeated through Kouji's lips. "Max and Ruth love you, I love you, so many people love you Kouji, you're just too blind to see it."

"You love me?" Kouji asked, pressing his forehead to Takuya's collar bone. Takuya faltered, his cheeks reddened, but he leaned forward and pressed a gently kiss to Kouji's forehead.

"I do…I love you Kouji," Takuya admitted, and it felt weird, like a weight lifted off his chest. Kouji pressed his face into Takuya's warm neck, and Takuya clutched Kouji to his chest.

"I want to hate you," Kouji repeated again, "I want to hate you but I can't. Every time you hurt me I tell myself it's the last time…but every time I let you come back and I get hurt again."

"Kouji…fuck, I didn't mean to hurt you," Takuya choked out. "I never meant to, I…I promise."

"I don't forgive you," Kouji said into the darkness and his words made Takuya feel like he had just got punched. "But I'll give you a chance to make it up to me, if you want it."

"Yes," Takuya said instantly, surging forward and trying to find Kouji's lips in the darkness. They crashed their noses together before Takuya found Kouji's lips and kissed them softly, hating the salty taste that was left behind from Kouji's tears, tears he caused.

They kissed in the dark for awhile, all talk of Kouji's impending adoption completely forgotten by Takuya.


	8. Chapter Eight

Warnings: offensive language/swearing, male/male pairing, _mentions_ of non-consensual sex and molestation. 

Disclaimer: Do not own Digimon or any of the characters used.

Author's Notes: Re-written, posted 2011-03-14.

* * *

Takuya dragged his feet as he walked back home, it was nearing nine o' clock and he left at seven after telling his parents he'd be really quick. They were going to be pissed, especially considering he had left his cell phone on his computer desk in his bedroom so they couldn't even call him.

He walked into his house quickly, slipping off his shoes and coat and tried to sneak past the living room to get to the stairs but his mother was all over him instantly.

"What took you so long?" she asked far calmer than Takuya had expected.

"We talked for a bit before Kouji helped me with the question, and then when we were done we watched a bit of TV, just lost track of time, sorry," Takuya lied, rubbing his neck with his hand. The time had been spent in Kouji's bed, Kouji had laid beside him under the blankets while Takuya rubbed his back. After they had talked they laid in the silence, Takuya stayed until Kouji had fallen asleep.

She eyed Takuya suspiciously. "You didn't bring any books over with you?"

"Um, no, just used Kouji's," Takuya said, backing up to retreat from the kitchen. Yuriko just watched him closely, nodding and saying goodnight as Takuya left the kitchen and fled up the stairs away from his mother's prying eyes.

Kouji hadn't forgiven him...but he had given Takuya the chance to redeem himself. The big question now was how was he going to manage to redeem himself when he had made such a stellar ass out of himself. It was almost physically impossible. Well, there was the one option, but Takuya couldn't do it. He could tell Mira, Kyle and the rest of the assholes he hung out with to fuck off, that would be a good start. Let them know how he really felt about Kouji, and to stop lying. He couldn't keep making Kouji his dirty secret. It wasn't fair to do that to him when he'd been nothing but good to Takuya.

But was ruining his reputation worth it? Would he still be able to play soccer with Kyle and the rest of the jock heads on the team harassing him about Kouji constantly? Would they even let him play or would they terrorize him until he quit the team himself? Was that fair to do to himself? He would lose his dream of getting a scholarship and playing for a college team...but was losing that dream worth losing Kouji?

Takuya sighed, resting his head in his hands and felt like the world's biggest dick because he didn't know. He didn't know what he was going to do. He didn't know what choice he was going to make. Was all the trouble Kouji causing worth it?

He was such a dick and he knew it, he was an ass and it made him feel sick but he just couldn't choose.

He didn't know if he wanted Kouji or if he wanted his soccer dreams.

* * *

Max cracked the door of Kouji's bedroom opened and peered into the darkness, his eyes adjusting enough to see Kouji lying on the bed with the cover wrapped up around his shoulders. Same position he was in when Max had checked on him after he had gotten home from the office.

"Can I come in?" he asked the teenager, pushing the door open a bit more.

"If you have to," Kouji replied, voice dull.

Max crossed the room and sat on the edge of Kouji's bed. "Kouji…I'm so sorry kiddo, I didn't mean for this to happen, honestly."

"Why'd you lie?" Kouji asked, voice quite but the hurt was evident in his tone. "You promised me that I could stay with you and Ruth, you _promised_."

"I didn't expect anybody to apply for an adoption application, do you know that odds of a seventeen year old getting adopted outside of family? It's rare," Max said as he played with the edge of the bedspread. "By the time I put an application of my own in it was too late."

"I don't want to leave," Kouji said, closing his eyes tightly. "I'm happy here…I don't want to go with those people. I want to stay here with you and Ruth, and Takuya…"

"The Jenson's live about six hours away," Max said, feeling defeated. "You're welcome to visit at anytime, I'll pay for the travel expenses, and once you hit eighteen your always welcome to come home to us."

"Six hours?" Kouji asked, distraught.

"I'm so sorry," Max repeated again.

"Can I be alone, please?" Kouji asked, and then he pressed his face into the pillow and resisted screaming in anger and frustration.

"I think we should talk about this Kouji," the man said, not moving. "You're like a son to me, I've known you for seven years. You _know_ Ruth and I wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

"I know," Kouji said. "But right now, I'd just like to be alone, please?" He sighed and rolled onto his back. "We can talk tomorrow, please?"

The man sighed but rose, giving into Kouji pleas. "I won't let you talk me out of this tomorrow," he said sternly as he left, shutting the door behind him with a click. He met his wife in the hall and hugged her.

"How's he doing?" Ruth asked, concern evident in her tone.

"He's upset," Max said, "Which is understandable. He didn't want to talk, but he promised me he'd talk tomorrow."

Ruth sighed, and together they headed into their bedroom.

* * *

Kouji felt like dead weight when his alarm went off in the morning, signalling the start of his day. His eyes felt puffy and aggravated from all the tears he had cried lately, which made him angry at himself. He got up and splashed his face with cold water, and then applied some moisturizer to the tender skin around his eyes, hoping the cream would alleviate the itchy sensation. He headed back into his bedroom and pulled on a sweater to keep warm before he headed downstairs to eat. After he had a bowl a cereal he went but upstairs and picked out an outfit to wear to school, and then showered. His eyes still looked a little puffy so despite his dislike for girly creams Kouji applied another dab to the skin around his eyes. He brushed his teeth and headed back downstairs with his backpack in tow.

Max intercepted Kouji by his office. "You promised," the man said sternly, referring to their conversation from the night before.

"I'm probably going to Takuya's tonight, for helping him with math," Kouji said, "But yeah, we'll talk later."

Max nodded and said goodbye and Kouji continued on his way, grabbing his jacket and putting on his shoes before heading outside.

"Hey!" Takuya's voice startled him, making him jump.

"Fuck!" he swore, skirting to the side slightly as Takuya came up the driveway towards him. "Ass, you practically gave me a heart attack."

Takuya wrapped an arm around Kouji's waist, pulling him close and pressing a kiss against his cheek bone. "Morning," he said softly, "I wanted to see you this morning so I got up early and walked over."

"Hi," Kouji said softly, his stomach twisted into knots. He still hadn't completely forgiven Takuya, but he couldn't control the feeling he felt when he was around the brunette. The butterflies felt like they were going crazy inside of him, and he hated the feeling.

They started to walk back down the driveway together. "Are you okay?" Takuya asked.

"Hmm?" Kouji asked, waking without looking at Takuya.

"Are you still pissed at me?" Takuya repeated, squeezing Kouji softly. "I know I can't change what happened but...can I make it up to you? Please?"

Kouji bit his lip, but agreed. "Okay," Anyways, after he had to move Takuya wouldn't bother with him, so he had limited chances at happiness left with the brunette.

"I'll borrow my parent's car and we'll go out and have fun tonight, sound good?" Takuya asked as they rounded the corner and were now on Takuya's street. They walked past Takuya's house but because his parents were already gone Takuya didn't bother unwrapping his arm from around Kouji's warm waist.

"Sure," Kouji said, still thinking.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Takuya asked again, frowning as he slowed down his walking pace and forced Kouji to do the same. "You seem really distant."

"Someone put an adoption application for me. If they get approved by the judge, and there really is no reason why it won't..." Kouji trailed off a bit. It was pretty self explanatory what would happen after.

"Ruth mentioned that to me...but, just till you're eighteen right? How bad can it be? You'll still be able to see everyone, see me, right?"

"The Jensons live six hours away," Kouji said quietly.

"_Six?_" Takuya yelped out, "What?"

"Six hours...and I don't want to go, I don't but what choice do I have?" Kouji asked, tugging out of Takuya's grip when the school came into view, more so Takuya didn't have to initiate the parting.

The rest of the walk to school passed in an uneasy silence, both boys lost in their own thoughts.

* * *

"What the hell is that?" Kouji asked, absently circling a number Takuya had written down on the page in front of him with his pencil. Kouji was watching Takuya work on the math homework they had received upside down, school had already ended but neither wanted to have any work to do that night so they decided to get the homework out of the way before they headed home. Kouji was already finished.

"A negative seven?" Takuya said, more like a question then an answer.

"It sort of looks like a backwards F," Kouji replied, "But yeah, negative seven is the right answer. Keep going."

"Pushy," Takuya said fondly as he quickly worked out the last equation and handed it to Kouji to look over for him. Kouji pointed out his mistakes and Takuya quickly fixed them before they both packed up their stuff and headed out.

"Walk over around six-ish," Takuya said as he walked past his house, intent on walking Kouji home, despite Kouji's protests of "I'm not a girl, Takuya," and setting his hands on Kouji's hips when they got to the door.

"I can do that," Kouji confirmed, leaning in to kiss Takuya softly on the lips for the first time that day. He stepped back and opened the door. "See you later," he said before he disappeared inside.

Takuya walked back home and was surprised the door was already open when he went to open it. His parents _never_ forgot to lock the door. He stepped inside and was surprised to see his mother standing there with an odd look on her face.

"You're late," she commented, and Takuya dropped his bag to the floor and kicked off his shoes.

"Stayed late in the library and finished my math homework with Kouji," Takuya answered. "You're early."

"I didn't go in today. I worked from home instead because my boss wasn't going to be in so there weren't any meetings so it would be a big waste of time to go in today," she said as she looked away from Takuya. "Can we go into the living room and talk?"

"I guess so, but I gotta hurry. Kouji and I are hanging out later. Can I borrow the car?" Takuya asked as he trailed after his mother and headed into the living room and flopped down on the couch which earned him a reproachful look from his mother.

"That's what I want to talk to you about," she said and at first Takuya was confused, but then it hit him. Hard.

His mother had been home. His mother had been home when he had walked past that morning with Kouji. His mother had been home when he had walked by the house holding Kouji. His mother had _seen_. Takuya tensed and avoided her eye contact. She would have also seen him walk by, in nearly the same position, as he walked past to walk Kouji home.

"Talk about what?" Takuya asked, trying to blow it over. "Borrowing the car? What's the point of being able to drive if I never can use it?"

"That's not what I want to talk about," she replied. "It's about...Kouji."

"What about him, you like him, he's nice, you said so yourself," Takuya said defensively.

"Takuya…your relationship with him," she started cautiously, "I saw you, I saw you this morning with him," she finally said with a rush and Takuya felt his heartbeat start to race in his chest.

"I wasn't doing anything wrong," Takuya muttered shiftily, glancing away and avoiding eye contact.

"Are you…the way you were holding him...are you gay?" she asked and Takuya almost choked on his own tongue.

"Mom!" Takuya protested, flushing and feeling completely blindsided.

"It's a yes or no question!" His mother snapped, raising her voice.

"I don't know!" Takuya cried back, slumping into the couch. "I…he's special."

"Oh Takuya…" she said, shaking her head.

"I'm still me," Takuya said quietly.

"I just can't imagine what your father would say," Takuya's mother answered quickly. "Honey, it's not a big deal to me – I love you no matter what you chose – it's your father that worries me."

"Please don't tell dad," Takuya asked quietly, pleading to his mother with his eyes. "He'll kill me or never let me see Kouji again."

Yuriko shook head and took a deep breath. "This is a lot to swallow right now," she said and her words made his stomach tighten. "I won't tell you father."

"I'm sorry," Takuya said. "I've never felt like this around any guy before mom, honest."

"It's not your fault," she said, and it made Takuya feel slightly better. If only he knew she was praying to every god she knew that Takuya's new found interest in Kouji was just a phase.


	9. Chapter Nine

Warnings: offensive language/swearing, male/male pairing, _mentions_ of non-consensual sex and molestation. 

Disclaimer: Do not own Digimon or any of the characters used.

Author's Notes: Re-written, posted 2011-03-23.

* * *

Kouji's hands rested gently on Takuya's hips, kissing the brunette heatedly. One of Takuya's hands was cradling the back of Kouji's neck while the other one rested on one of Kouji's slim hips. Takuya nipped Kouji's lip gently, gazing into Kouji's stormy blue gaze with his own intense brown.

Takuya leaned back, breathing heavily. Kouji was sitting in between his legs, cramped close to the brunette in the front seat of Takuya's car. Takuya squeezed his hip softly as leaned in close to the dark haired boy for another kiss, his hand leaving Kouji's hip to wrap around his lower back and pull the other boy flush against him.

Kouji was getting used to the intimacy he shared with Takuya. At first it was harder for him to deal with the brunette touching him but now he craved the feeling of the other boy's tanned skin against his own. It made the butterflies go crazy.

"We're fogging the windows up," Takuya said as he pulled away from Kouji slightly, "How cliché is that?"

They were parked at an old drive through theatre, both of them cramped into the driver's side seat as they made out rather than pay attention to what was happening on screen. Kouji reached forward and turned the volume up so the sound of the movie was playing through the radio again.

Takuya dropped his hands down so they were wrapped around Kouji's waist loosely, and Kouji rested his head against Takuya's shoulder to watch the remainder of the movie. Takuya rested his chin on Kouji's shoulder and pressed a quick kiss into the pale skin of his neck. He felt a little self conscious with Kouji sitting in his lap - even though he was the one who coaxed the dark haired teen into it – because there was that lingering fear of someone from school seeing them. He was borrowing his parents car though, with the tinged windows (also slightly fogged) it would be hard for anyone to see in, but the thought of being caught always lingered on Takuya's mind.

Takuya took a deep breath and let it only slowly before he focused back on the movie. The days were passing quickly, and Takuya had a little over three weeks left with Kouji before the teen would be moving, and the thought made Takuya's stomach cramp. Kouji had told him that he would be visiting one weekend a month, sometimes two, and he'd talk to him as often as possible.

A part of Takuya wanted to kick and scream and never the other boy go, and another part of him was relieved. With Kouji gone he wouldn't have to worry about being caught, there would be no more fear on his part and he wouldn't need to worry about Kouji's feelings because he wouldn't be around to hear how Takuya's friends talked about him.

Takuya felt disgusted with himself for thinking that way, and he tightened his grip on Kouji's waist. Kouji raised a fine, dark eye brow at him in question and Takuya gave him a sheepish smile and a quick kiss.

"I don't wanna go to school tomorrow," Takuya said mournfully, resting his head on Kouji's shoulder.

"And you think I do?" Kouji asked, a slight smile on his face.

"I wish you could come to my game after school," Takuya said, exhaling deeply, referring to the semi final soccer qualifying match their school was hosting tomorrow night. "I wish I could just show you off to the world and….yeah," Takuya trailed off awkwardly. He could show Kouji off, it was his own fault that he wasn't.

Kouji didn't comment, just sighed. "I'm going to miss this," Kouji said softly. Takuya reached forward and turned the movie down.

"Miss what?" Takuya asked, pulling back to meet Kouji's eyes.

"This," Kouji said. "The closeness, you, everything. I've never felt so comfortable with myself before. I've always been so self conscious but you make me feel…" Kouji trailed off and stared into Takuya eyes.

"Hot, sexy, confident, beautiful, smart?" Takuya listed off, smiling faintly when Kouji's cheeks heated and turned faintly pink. "Because that's the way I see you."

"You're a sap, Takuya," Kouji said, pulling back and not meeting Takuya's eyes.

"Can't blame me if it's true," the brunette said, smiling as he leaned close to kiss Kouji.

* * *

Takuya grinned, pushing his shower damn hair off his forehead as he pulled his tee shirt down over his chest. The boys in the change rooms were loud; cocky in their triumph over the soccer team in the other change rooms down the hall. The game that night had gone well, with Fairfield, Takuya's team, winning 6-5. It had been tight, and Takuya was proud to say he had scored 2 of those goals.

What Takuya was most excited about though was the fact that their next game would be part of the biggest tournament Takuya had ever played in. If they managed to make it to the finals there would be talent scouts looking for college teams and the possibility of getting a full ride scholarship through college was a real possibility.

"We kicked their asses!" Josh, one of the more tolerable boys on the team, called out.

"What fags!" Kyle laughed, "All of them."

Takuya grit his teeth a little, but forced himself to laugh along and keep up appearances. He finished getting dressed and headed out with the group of guys, ignoring their offensive comments as he branched away from the group, brushing off their invites to go out and party.

He spotted his parent's car parked by the curb and he slipped into the passenger's seat.

"Hey dad," he said as he threw his stuff in the foot well between his feet.

"I saw the second half of the game," his father said gruffly, "Nice score you got there."

Takuya, as much as his father could bug him at time, glowed under his father's praise.

"You should have seen it dad," he said, animatedly, "I scored the first goal for our team tonight, it was so awesome."

"Always knew you were the best player on that field, what a group of sissies you played against. I bet more of them boys got on their knees for a spot on that team then actually had the talent for it."

"Dad!" Takuya snapped, scandalized. And this is where he lost all respect for his father again.

"What?" the man scoffed as he pulled into their driveway. "It's true."

Takuya just ignored him and moved on with the conversation. "What's for dinner tonight?"

"Your mom said we'd go out for dinner," his father said with a grin. "She and Shinya were at your game earlier but when I got there she headed home because she had a conference call at four thirty."

"I know," Takuya said as he shut the door behind him. "I saw them there."

"I'm proud of you, Takuya," Takuya felt pride wash over him. Sure, his father could be a bit of a dick at times, but who wasn't?

"Thanks dad," Takuya said, grinning at the older man.

Once Takuya and his family were all sitting down at the restaurant they decided to go to with their orders served, his mother turned to him.

"I forgot to mention that this weekend your father and I have a convention we need to go to in the States," she said after she took a drink of her water. "Shinya is staying with your grandparents, I wanted to know what you were going to do?"

"You're going to leave me home alone by myself?" Takuya asked, surprised and elated at the same time. "No grandma to come babysit?"

"You're almost eighteen," His father added, "I think we should be okay leaving you with the house alone for a little while."

"That's so not fair!" Shinya whined, glaring at Takuya. "Why do I have to stay with grandma?"

"When you're seventeen we'll let you stay at the house by yourself too," his mother said, giving him a sharp look that clearly said not to start trouble in the restaurant.

"No parties though," His father said, "Understand me?"

"Yes sir," Takuya knew that breaking his father's rules could be lethal.

While his parents broke off chattering about the convention Takuya's mind was wandering elsewhere. He would have the whole house to himself for a whole weekend. His first immediate thought was that he'd be able to make out with Kouji right in the living room if he pleased. He had thought about having sex before many times, but he never had the perfect opportunity to do it before now.

Obviously he would never bring sex up to Kouji though; he wasn't sure how well the dark haired teen would respond to it, with his past and all. Takuya flushed slightly, thinking about it. He was glad the lights were dimmed slightly so it would be harder to tell. He didn't know the first thing about having sex with another guy.

Sure, he had a vague idea but, if it ever came to that he would probably end up hurting Kouji because he wouldn't know what he was doing. He took a deep breath and took a bite of his hamburger. When he got the chance, Takuya was going to do some online research.

* * *

Takuya sat hesitantly in front of the computer, his hands hesitantly raised over the keyboard. He knew what he wanted to type into the Google search bar, he just wasn't sure if he was going to be able to. His stomach felt like it was one giant knot and he kept glancing towards the door to the family computer room even though he knew nobody was home. His father was still at work and his mother and Shinya were out at the neighbours.

He wouldn't get a better chance than this.

His hands felt clammy as he typed quickly, cursing as he messed up and had to go back and retype what he had been trying to say. There was a possibility of having sex in his future, but did her really need to look it up? Would he ever be brave enough to go that far with Kouji?

He didn't know, but he wanted to be prepared just in case. Who knew what would happen next weekend if Kouji was allowed to stay over? Takuya took a deep breath and hit enter, and clicked on the first article and read it through.

He was in the middle of the third web page when he heard the door open just down the hall and his little brother's voice. He jerked, immediately hitting the little red x in the top corner and shut the internet browser off and shut down the computer, hands shaking at nearly getting caught.

"Hey mom," he said casually as he came out of the office. "Brat," he said to his brother as Shinya walked past him. He kept walking towards the stairs and up to bedroom and he flopped back onto his bed, thinking a a certain dark haired teen all the while.


	10. Chapter Ten

Warnings: **offensive language/swearing**, male/male pairing, _mentions_ of non-consensual sex and molestation. 

Disclaimer: Do not own Digimon or any of the characters used.

Author's Notes: Re-written, posted 2011-09-06.

* * *

**Dirty Secrets: Chapter 10**

* * *

"My parents are going away for the weekend," leaning forward and kissing Kouji softly. "And some friends from back home are coming up and we're going to go to that amusement park in the city."

"That sounds like fun," Kouji said softly, stepping back away from the door and letting Takuya in. "Did you come over here to tell me that or..." Kouji trailed off, raising a fine dark eyebrow.

Takuya rolled his eyes. "I came over here to invite you, numbskull," Takuya grinned as he grabbed at Kouji's hips to keep him close. "Do you wanna? It'll be fun, promise."

"I'd have to ask," Kouji said with a slight frown, "But I don't have any money to go to an amusement park."

"Awe, come on," Takuya said, disappointed. "I'll pay for you then, it'll be no big deal. I still have money left over from my last birthday."

"I can't take money from you," Kouji said, frowning still. He grabbed Takuya's hand and started leading him toward the stairs to his bedroom. "And I don't want to ask for any."

Ruth was still at work, and Max was home somewhere but Kouji didn't want to bother the man. He had enough on his mind, arranging the move to their new house. Kouji was the last boy left with them, and if the Jensen's appeal went through to adopt Kouji the Boys Home would be closing.

"What's this about needing money?"

Takuya jumped when Max, Mr. Larson to Takuya, appeared around the corner. He brushed his blond hair off his face and gave Takuya a smile.

Kouji blushed, but didn't say anything. He didn't drop Takuya's hand though, which sent a shudder through Takuya. It felt exhilarating to be displaying affection in front of someone, but at the same time it sent Takuya into panic mode. He squeezed Kouji's hand softly. When Kouji didn't speak Takuya stepped forward slightly.

"My parents are going away this weekend and I wanted to know if Kouji would be allowed to spend the weekend with me," Takuya asked. "I have a few friends coming over and we were going to go to the amusement park, if that's alright."

Max glanced at Kouji. "You know you can ask me anything," he said to the teen who looked away. Ever since their talk Kouji had been distant. He was quieter and more reserved than usual, even around him and Ruth. "It's fine with me if it's alright with your parent's Takuya," Max said. "I'll take money out of the bank for you tomorrow Kouji."

After both boys had thanked Max they continued on their way up the stairs and into Kouji's bedroom. Kouji shut the door and headed inside after Takuya. They curled up on the bed together, Takuya rubbing small circles onto Kouji's hips with his thumbs where the other boy's shirt had ridden up.

"I have to drive my parents to the airport Friday night so I can have the car for the weekend. I'll swing by and pick you up after, okay?" he finished his sentence by leaning forward and kissing Kouji on the nose.

Kouji grinned. "Sappy," he commented, leaning forward and letting Takuya kiss him for real. The brunette gripped his hips, flipping them over and pinning Kouji to the bed. Takuya broke away from Kouji to take a breath and leaned down to kiss Kouji's neck, letting his eye lashes flutter against the underside of Kouji's jaw softly.

"God you're pretty," Takuya said, attaching their lips properly before Kouji could protest at being called pretty.

When they broke the kiss Kouji looked into Takuya's eyes with an intensity Takuya hadn't really seen before looking away, a slight tinge to his cheeks.

"What?" Takuya prompted, nudging Kouji in his ribs gently.

"Have you ever thought about going all the way?" Kouji blurted out quickly, his face red.

"All the way?" Takuya asked, thinking about the stuff he had looked up on the internet. "Like, as in sex?"

"God I feel so stupid..." Kouji murmured. "Yeah, like sex."

"I'll be honest and say yes," Takuya answered, meeting Kouji's surprised eyes. "I don't want to push you, so I never mentioned it, but yeah, I have thought about it every now and then."

"With me?" Kouji asked, seeming surprised.

"Well you are my boyfriend, dummy," Takuya said fondly, pressing a kiss into Kouji's cheek.

"Oh," Kouji said, blushing.

"When the time is right," Takuya said, and left it at that.

* * *

The morning dawned bright and early and Kouji yawned as Takuya shut the alarm off. They had spent most of the night trading kisses, cuddling and watching TV without the fear of anyone walking in on them in Takuya's bedroom.

"Six A.M, why you so early?" Kouji asked as he rolled away from Takuya's embrace and sat up. Takuya didn't move, just snorted.

"No," he whined when Kouji moved away from where he had been curled up beside him. "Come back."

"I need to shower," Kouji said, grinning at Takuya as the brunette blinked at him.

"Together?" he asked slyly and Kouji stood up to get his stuff together with a roll of his eyes.

"In your dreams maybe," Kouji said as he stood in the doorway.

Takuya huffed but heaved himself out of bed and stretched. Kouji's eyes were drawn to his bare chest and Takuya grinned when he caught him staring.

"I'll start breakfast," he said, grabbing a shirt and a pair of sweatpants to pull over his boxers.

"God help us all," was Kouji's reply, to Takuya's indignation.

But despite Takuya's cooking when Kouji stepped out of the shower, miraculously, the house was still standing and when he went down stairs there were eggs, un-burnt eggs, and toast waiting for him with a steaming mug of tea. Takuya grinned at him.

"See?" he said, and stuck his tongue out for emphasis.

"What are you, five?" Kouji joked as he sat down.

"Do I really look that old?" Takuya griped back at him. "I already ate so while you eat I'm going to go shower and get ready, okay?"

Kouji nodded through a mouth full of eggs and toast and watched Takuya as he ran up the stairs. He heard the shower click on and he sighed. Once he was finished eating he collected their breakfast dishes and washed them, setting the in the dish rack to dry because he didn't know where they belonged.

He stocked the cooler up with the lunch stuff they were bringing rather than paying a small fortune for food at the amusement park and just left the ice in the freezer. He went into Takuya's room upstairs and got his toothbrush and toothpaste and brushed his teeth in the bathroom down stairs.

He was a little apprehensive about meeting who Takuya considered his "best friends in the entire world for life" and hoped he didn't come off as too awkward and scare them away. He stashed his toothbrush and paste back into his bag and adjusted his damp hair. He felt a little naked with his usual bandana but it was a very unpractical accessory to wear while going on roller coasters.

Takuya emerged out of the upstairs bathroom, along with a cloud of steam, dressed and ready to go. His shaggy brown hair was still wet and when he saw Kouji coming out of his bedroom he pinned him against the hall wall and kissed him thoroughly.

"Minty," he commented when they parted and Kouji blushed.

They went into Takuya's room and finished getting ready, and they were just finishing when they heard a car roll into the driveway. Butterflies were having a party in Kouji's stomach and Takuya jumped off the bed with a grin and a shout of: "They're here!" and he proceeded to run down the stairs, leaving Kouji behind.

Kouji stood in the hall waiting awkwardly for Takuya and his friends to come inside. He knew the girl was named Izumi and that the boy was called Junpei, or just plain J.P for short.

"It's _so_ good to see you," he heard the girl say, and he heard Takuya reply in kind. And their voices were growing closer and closer to the door and Kouji's heart was beating so fast he was wondering if he was going to die of heart failure before he actually met Takuya's friends.

Takuya stepped in first and grinned reassuringly at him, "And this," he said, wrapping an arm around Kouji waist and squeezing, "Is Kouji. My boyfriend."

Izumi grinned at him and stepped towards him to hug him and Takuya shoved him forward a little bit.

"Hi!" the blonde girl exclaimed. "It's so good to finally meet you, Takuya talks about you _all_ the time, oh, and I'm Izumi, by the way."

The other teen stepped forward, rolling his eyes. "J.P.," he said. "And ignore her; she forgot to take her anti-ditz pills again."

She wacked him in the arm and said, "Shut it."

Kouji smiled at him. "Hi, he said.

They came in and checked the house out, used the washroom and before Kouji knew it he and Takuya were squishing into the back of J.P's car while J.P and Izumi fought over the radio in the front seat while simultaneously filling Takuya in on everything he missed from back home.

Despite only knowing the two new teenagers for less than an hour, Kouji felt like he belonged.

* * *

Kouji stumbled off the ride behind Takuya, his head still spinning. Takuya was grinning so much his cheeks were starting to ache from the exertion. Kouji reached up to adjust the hair tie at the nape of his neck. He opted not to wear a bandana so he wouldn't lose it in the wind and Takuya thought he looked really good with is bangs falling around his face, framing his high cheekbones.

"You have to admit, that was pretty epic," Takuya said as they merged into the crowd at the rollercoaster's exit. "And guess what?" he hip checked Kouji when the other teen didn't respond.

"What?" Kouji replied, rolling his eyes.

"You're no fun," Takuya said. "Now you can saw you've been on the biggest rollercoaster in the country!"

Kouji smiled at him. "You're such a dork," he said affectionately.

"Well you're a nerd so we must be even," Takuya shot back at him, smiling playfully.

They had decided to act more like friends that a couple while at the park. Takuya didn't want anyone to see them, and they didn't want any assholes ruining their day. The small, casual touches Takuya kept giving Kouji were driving him crazy, and Kouji wished they could have enjoyed the day as a couple.

Izumi and J.P hadn't gotten onto the same train as they had for the ride, so the two boys milled around the exit for a few minutes and waited for them.

The day went by fast and they went on a lot of rides, but by the end of the day Takuya was exhausted. He was disappointed that he'd have to walk Kouji back home after they returned from the amusement park. It seemed like the weekend had just flew by.

But before long he was sitting in his bedroom and his parents were home and downstairs, preparing a late dinner. He wished Kouji could have stayed over but he knew his parents, mostly his father, never would have allowed it.

* * *

The week seemed to fly by, much like the previous weekend, and before Takuya knew it was already Friday. Kouji was supposed to leave Tuesday and Takuya couldn't believe how fast the days had gone by. They were supposed to go to the movies tonight, but Takuya had told his parents he was going with a group of friends with school.

He was just about to call Kouji when his father burst into his room, anger written all over his face.

"Come here," he snapped, and Takuya stood immediately, unsure at what could have pissed his father off so bad. "Get down to the office, _now_."

Takuya felt his heart start to pound as he followed his dad down the stairs. He didn't say anything, just obeyed quietly.

"Do you care to explain to me why _How To Have Anal Sex_ appears in my browser's history?" he snapped, glaring at Takuya, who felt the blood rush out of his face. "Or, _Ten Tips For Better Bottoming _ or _Anal Advice from The Experts?_" By the end of his rampage, his father was practically screaming at him.

Takuya was pretty sure his face was bloodless. He had forgotten to delete the history after he had used the computer. How could he have been _so fucking stupid?_

"It's that _fag_, isn't it, the one from down the street," His father continued sneering. "That fucking fairy, how _dare_ he…"

"It's not his fault, dad," Takuya said quietly, practically shaking.

"I don't care whose fault it is but you hear me and you hear me good, boy, I don't want to hear none of this _faggot_ nonsense under my roof ever gain, you got that?" His father snapped, and Takuya nodded stiffly.

"And so help me god, if I see you anywhere near that cocksucker I will personally deal with him, you understand me?"

Takuya fought the urge to punch his father in the face and flee. Instead, he nodded stiffly.

"And you're grounded. No TV, no computer and no leaving your room for the rest of the weekend," he demanded, and Takuya was relieved he didn't ask for his cell phone, and he began to walk away. "And give me your phone, too."

What a way to speak to soon, figuratively.

Takuya was crushed. Kouji was expecting him to pick him up in less than half an hour and he had no way to tell him that he couldn't make it, or why he couldn't make it. Feeling the sting of tears in his eyes, Takuya fled back upstairs to his room, slamming the door behind him and throwing himself onto the bed.


	11. Chapter Eleven

Warnings: offensive language/swearing**,** male/male pairing**, ****molestation**, _mentions _of non-consensual sex.

Disclaimer: Do not own Digimon or any of the characters used.

Author's Notes: Re-written, posted 2011-10-24.

* * *

**Dirty Secrets: Chapter Eleven**

* * *

It was already seven in the evening and Takuya was supposed to be by to pick him up by six. He sat on his bed staring out the window waiting for Takuya's car to arrive in the driveway and the brunette to jump out, apologize profusely for being late and then they'd be on their way, but it never happened.

Kouji picked up his phone and flipped it open again and saw that he still didn't have any missed alerts. He opened a new message to Takuya and typed, _hey, what's happening? We still going tonight? Text/call me_, and then snapped his phone shut with a sigh.

A knock on the door startled him, and when Max poked his head inside the bedroom, Kouji sighed again.

"Hey kiddo," he said as he sat down on the bed beside Kouji.

"Hi," was all he replied.

"Thought you were going out tonight?" Max asked, and Kouji snapped his cell open again to see if he had any missed alerts even though he would have felt the phone vibrate.

"I guess there was a change of plans," Kouji said, trying to act casual when, in reality, it hurt a lot worse than he thought it would.

"Takuya stood you up?" Max asked, incredulously. "That's not like him."

"You barley know him," Kouji snapped, and then instantly felt bad. "Sorry."

Max squeezed Kouji's knee gently. "Something must have come up."

"Sure," Kouji replied, sullen.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you remember that the Jensens are visiting tomorrow, right?" Max asked, hating the way Kouji hunched his shoulders in response to that.

"I don't like them," Kouji muttered, but Max still heard him.

"You've barley met them," He wrapped an arm around Kouji's shoulders and sighed. "I know it's tough, but we'll get through this okay? It's not ideal, but Ruth and I never meant for this to happen."

Kouji sighed again. "I know, sorry I'm being such a brat."

"You're not a brat, kiddo. Anything but. You know you're like the son we never had, right?" he squeezed Kouji's shoulder again. "We love you, kid. We'll work everything out. I'll pay for your cell phone so you can call or text us at anytime and I'll pay for a train ticket so you can spend time with us, at least once a month."

Kouji nodded, feeling emotional about the whole situation.

"We're not abandoning you," Max finished and stood.

"Thanks," Kouji said just as Max was about to leave. "And…I love you guys too."

Max was surprised at Kouji's words, but smiled as he left the room to find Ruth. It was the first time that Kouji had every said it to him, and it was good to know that Kouji wasn't angry with him anymore.

Once Max was gone Kouji slumped over onto his side and pulled his pillow to his chest. It was obvious by now that Takuya wasn't showing up. His phone had no new notifications and the brunette hadn't tried to call on the house phone either. Kouji considered walking to the other teen's house, just to see why he hadn't shown up, but he figured it probably wouldn't be a good idea.

Instead, Kouji laid on his bed and dreaded the Jensen's upcoming visit.

* * *

Kouji showered and dressed mechanically the next morning. His stomach was in knots over the fact that Takuya hadn't even tried to get in touch with him. Could something have happened to the brunette? On top of that, he was worried about his meeting with the Jensens. He didn't understand why they had to fuck up his life.

He had plans, and they were not included. He sighed as he ran a brush through his hair and tied it back with a bandana. He walked down to the kitchen and made himself a tea but didn't eat anything. He didn't think his stomach could handle anything. Max emerged from the hall looking tired, and he immediately went for the coffee maker.

"When will they be here?" Kouji asked and then took a sip of his tea.

Max glanced at the clock on the stove. "About an hour," he said, then yawned. "I'm going for a shower, Ruth is at the grocery store."

Kouji nodded. "Okay," was all he said.

And all too fast the hour was gone and Kouji was sitting awkwardly in Max's office with the Jensens: Andrea and Colton. He was sitting between them, and his heart was racing.

"Well," Max said a little stiffly. "I'll leave you guys to be acquainted for a few minutes."

Kouji stared at Max pleadingly with his eyes to not be left alone but Max either didn't notice or ignored it because he stood and exited the office and left the other three occupants in an awkward silence.

Colton, on his left, broke the silence in the room first.

"Do you play any sports?" he asked, placing a hand on Kouji's knee. Kouji resisted the urge to jerk his knee out from under the man's grasp.

"Um, no not really," Kouji answered, trying to ignore how the man tightened his grip on his knee.

"More into the academics?" The woman, Andrea, asked, and Kouji nodded.

"I'm a lot better in school than sports," Kouji admitted, flinching slightly when Colton's hand slide up his thigh a little bit.

"For someone not very active you have a very trim figure," he commented, his hand creeping up Kouji's thigh again.

"Um," Kouji said, unsurely. "Thanks."

"High metabolism," the woman said uninterestedly. She had pulled out her blackberry and was busy typing away at the keyboard.

Kouji's heart was racing. Colton stopped his hand at the very top of Kouji's thigh and stroked the skin of Kouji's leg through the jeans the teen wore. Kouji jerked his leg away that time, unnerved.

"Sorry about that," the man said, smiling. "I'm a little touchy-feely. Just tell me if I'm bothering you and I'll stop."

Kouji nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

This time the man brought his hand up and brushed Kouji's arm. "We're going to be very close, I can tell."

Kouji sat frozen in place and for a few seconds the only sound in the room was the clicking of Andrea's fingers on the keys of her cell phone.

The man's fingers slide up, over his shoulder and onto his collarbone.

"Don't you think so too?" he asked, staring intently at Kouji. "You'll be like the son I never had," and this that his hands returned to his lap. Kouji's heart was racing and his stomach was in knots. He wasn't too sure what had just happened.

* * *

Not long after Max returned and relieved Kouji of the man's awkward touches and questions. First chance Kouji got he fled to his room and stayed in there. He was unsure of what to make of the Jensen's but something about them seemed off.

There was a knock on his door, and Max poked his head inside, "Hey kiddo," he said as he walked inside Kouji's room. "Just wanted to know what you thought of the Jensen's."

"I…I get a weird feeling around them," Kouji admitted. "Colton makes me feel…strange."

"You just got to get used to them," Max said reassuringly. "You'll see. You know how shy and awkward you are around new people for the first little while."

They talked for another while about Kouji getting his stuff packed, even though Kouji didn't own that much, and other things that needed to be done. Max told him he could skip school on Monday if he felt like it and Kouji seriously thought it over. But then he decided he'd go so he could see Takuya, one last time. Even if it was just so Takuya could make a mockery of him, he wanted to see the brunette one last time before he moved away.

By Sunday night Kouji was packed and ready to go. Staring at his meagre belonging made tears burn in his eyes and a sense of nostalgia burn through his veins. He still hadn't heard from Takuya and he wondered why the brunette hadn't even attempted to contact him.

Kouji sighed as he laid in bed. It was dark, he was tired, and it wasn't long before he was asleep. Monday morning dawned bright and early and Kouji grudgingly rolled out of bed and showered and got ready.

Ruth hugged him tightly before he left, asking if he was sure he wanted to spend his last day at school, and he said yes. He wanted to see Takuya.

As he was walking to school he could see a familiar figure walking in front of him. He pulled out his phone and sent a text saying:

_Wait for me?_

But Takuya never responded or slowed so Kouji started to walk a little faster, trying to catch up. They were just going to turn off Takuya's street when Kouji was within ten feet of Takuya.

"Takuya, what the _hell_ is your problem?" Kouji called, feeling his stomach clench at Takuya's actions.

Takuya said nothing, just rounded the corner and kept walking. Kouji followed, hands shaking.

"So that's it?" Kouji asked Takuya's back. "Fuck-you then," he snapped.

Takuya finally turned and Kouji resisted the urge to deck him. He was shaking he was so upset. Takuya approached him slowly and when he got close he wrapped his arms around Kouji's body tightly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to Kouji.

"Let me go," Kouji said, pushing away from Takuya. "I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you!" he spat as he tried to free himself.

"Wait, babe, hear me out okay?" Takuya said, tightening his arms around Kouji.

"Let me _go_," Kouji said harshly. "You stood me up! And then didn't answer a single text or phone call."

"My dad found out," Takuya blurted out, and Kouji stilled, startled by the confession.

"What?" he asked, meeting Takuya's pained eyes.

"I was so stupid," Takuya started, pulling Kouji close and not caring who saw them. "I…I looked up gay sex so I would know what to do if it ever got to that point. I didn't want to hurt you or something. And like the _fucking_ moron I am I forget to delete the internet history and my dad found out and…"

"Are you okay?" Kouji asked, concerned, his anger forgotten.

"I'm fine, but he took everything away from me for the weekend, cell phone, computer, phone, _everything_ and it killed me not being able to get in touch with you."

"I'm sorry I got mad at you," Kouji said softly and Takuya kissed his forehead gently.

Suddenly teary eyed, Takuya pressed his face into Kouji's shoulder. He hugged the raven haired teen tight to his body for several long moments before parting.

"I don't want you to go," he murmured.

"I don't want to leave either, but it's just a few months, right?" Kouji said, trying to cheer the brunette up.

"Ditch with me today?" Takuya asked, stepping back and taking Kouji's hand. He had just hugged and kissed his boyfriend on a sidewalk and he didn't care. He didn't give a shit who saw them at that moment.

"Okay," Kouji agreed.

They spent the day together, getting ice cream, visiting the park, also known as, making out on a park bench, went out for lunch and by the time four in the afternoon rolled around and Takuya had to head back to his place to avoid angering his father Takuya didn't want to let Kouji go.

"Can I see you tomorrow before you leave?" Takuya asked, leaning forward to connect their lips for a brief kiss once he was done speaking.

"Please," Kouji said. "Yes please."

"I love you," Takuya said softy, and now he knew he meant it.

Kouji gave him a shy smile. "I love you too," he answered.

Takuya stood at the doors of the Boy's Home hugging Kouji to his chest for several long minutes. He knew he should let go but couldn't bring himself relax his grip on Kouji and go home. Instead he started to kiss the other boy softly. Kouji melted into the kiss and when they broke apart they were breathless.

Takuya stepped back, "Bye," he said, before fleeing, fighting tears the whole way home. He didn't care if he was almost eighteen, almost an adult. The idea of Kouji leaving, in the beginning, didn't seem quite this bad. Now that the time was here Tom didn't want to let him go, ever.

Kouji watched as Takuya disappeared around the corner onto his own street before heading inside. He curled up on his bed with his lips tingling from the kiss and cried silently. He was finally happy, and of course that happiness couldn't last.

For Kouji, it never did.

* * *

tbc.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Warnings: offensive language/swearing**,** male/male pairing**, **molestation, _mentions _of non-consensual sex.

Disclaimer: Do not own Digimon or any of the characters used.

Author's Notes: Re-written, posted 2012-01-08.

* * *

**Dirty Secrets: Chapter Twelve**

* * *

Kouji barley slept at all Monday night and Tuesday dawned bright and way-too-early. The time seemed to slip by faster and faster the closer Tuesday got and now there was only a few more hours until he had to leave. Kouji sighed as he stared out the window of his room and watched the sun rise.

Takuya was walking over before school and he planned to skip again today, which Kouji didn't necessarily like, but he wanted to spend time with him before he had to leave. Who knew when the next time Kouji would get to see him would come. The thought of Takuya moving on after he was gone played heavily on his heart because he knew it was a realistic possibility. Why would Takuya wait for him? There wasn't anything special about him.

Sighing, Kouji rolled over onto his back and slung an arm over his eyes to block out the bright rays of sunshine that were beginning to flood into the room. He took a deep breath and cracked his eyes open, looking around his familiar bedroom for what was going to be the last time. He kicked his blankets off and swung his legs over the edge and cradled his head in his hands.

He sat for awhile before finally standing up. He stripped the bedding off his bed and put it in his empty laundry basket. All his clothes were packed, and he wanted to bring his bedding with him but the Jensens told him that it wouldn't be necessary.

Kouji knew dawdling wouldn't keep the Jensens from coming so Kouji grabbed the clothing he had left out the night before and went into the bathroom. He went through his normal morning routines automatically, his brain working on over drive as he worried about leaving.

Max was sitting on Kouji's bed when the teen returned to his room. "Hey, kiddo," he said softly when Kouji walked in.

"Hi," Kouji greeted back.

They talked for awhile, until Ruth called from downstairs and informed them that Takuya was walking up the driveway and so Kouji went to meet him.

They decided to go for a walk instead of sitting around the house, and as they were walking down the driveway Takuya took Kouji's hand. Kouji smiled sadly at the brunette. They headed to a little park that was just outside the of the subdivision community both boys lived in.

"I'm going to miss you," Takuya said as he squeezed Kouji's hand and tugged him closer so he could wrap an arm around Kouji's waist as they walked. Kouji leaned into Takuya and sighed. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too," Kouji said.

When they reached the park Takuya pulled Kouji down onto a bench so the dark haired teen was practically sitting in Takuya's lap. It was the most PDA Takuya had ever displayed before, and it made Kouji feel a bit better about himself. Now Takuya didn't seem ashamed of being with him at least.

Takuya wrapped his arms around Kouji's waist as they sat on the bench and pulled him close, squeezing him tight briefly, before loosening his grip.

"I wanted to say thank-you," Kouji said softly, avoiding Takuya's eyes as a slight blush spread across his high cheekbones.

"For what?" Takuya said softly, staring at Kouji intently.

"Everything, just...everything," Kouji took a deep breath before elaborating. "For sticking around long enough to get to know me and being nice to me and just, you know. Thanks."

"Babe, I've been a fucking dick to you and made you cry and really, I've been a total asshole to you half the time, now that I think about it," Takuya said, frowning.

Kouji couldn't control the little laugh that bubbled up and escaped. "Just a little," he admitted. "But you always redeemed yourself."

Takuya pulled Kouji in close for a kiss, one hand resting on the base of Kouji's neck and the other holding Kouji's slim hip. When they parted Takuya rested his forehead on Kouji's.

"I love you," the brunette said softly.

Kouji's eyes filled with tears but they didn't spill done his cheeks. He gave Takuya a watery smile, and Takuya wrapped his arms around Kouji and pulled him tight to his chest. Kouji buried his face into Takuya's jacket and closed his eyes tight.

"I love you too."

* * *

Before long it was time to go back to the house. Once they reached the driveway they saw the Jensen's car was parked outside the house. Takuya stopped, and squeezed Kouji's hands tight.

"I have to go," he said, tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, fuck, I have to go."

"Now?" Kouji asked, stricken. He wasn't ready to give Takuya up yet. He couldn't believe it was already time for him to leave.

"I love you," Takuya said, surging forward and kissing Kouji quickly. "I'll miss you so much. Remember to call me, and text...I'll see you whenever I can."

"Please stay a little longer," Kouji begged.

"I can't Kouji, please, I'll just break down..." Takuya said, shaking his head. "I...I...can't do this."

"I love you too."

Kouji could barely contain his tears as he watched Takuya walk away from him. He watched until he could no longer see the brunette's disappearing back. He took a few deep shuddering breaths as he watched one of the best things that had ever come into his life walk away for what could quite possibly be the last time. He wanted to break down and cry, call Takuya's name and chase him but he did neither. Instead he reined in his tears and he stood stoically by the on the porch He took another few deep breaths as he stood just outside the door, hand poised just over the door handle.

"Goodbye..." Kouji said softly, before turning around and walking into the house.

* * *

The Jensen's house was fairly large, and very private, on over sixty acres of wooded area. Kouji followed them in, trying to ignore how Colton's hand rested on his back. They showed him around and showed him the kitchen, living and dining room, bathrooms, rec room and lastly, the bedrooms. The house was very large and well furnished. Every room was well decorated and had large windows which let the sunlight flood into them. Kouji had imagined the house to be a dark and dank dungeon but in reality it was a very beautiful place. When they got to the last room on the left at the end of the hall Colton held it open and gestured for Kouji to enter.

"This will be your room," The man said as he stepped in behind Kouji and shut the door behind him. "What do you think?"

It was airy and spacious with a window over the large double bed. There was a matching oak dresser and computer desk. The room was simple, but over all very nice, but he missed his old room and he ached fiercely to be back home. He preferred his mismatched furniture set and his bed. He missed the slightly fading wallpaper and the cracks in the ceiling. He missed his desk where he had spent many hours doing his school work. He missed his bed where he and Takuya had spent many hours talking and kissing. He missed home.

"It's nice," Kouji said, stepping away from the man slightly when he brushed up against Kouji.

"That brunette who was with you today," Colton said suddenly, changing the topic. "Is he you're boyfriend? And don't lie to me."

Kouji floundered for a few seconds. "Uh, yeah, he is," he admitted, his heart racing in his chest.

"And you love him, right?" The man asked, shifting closer and leering at Kouji. Kouji broke out into a cold sweat and stepped away from the man but the bed was directly behind him so there was nowhere for him to go. "What would you do to protect him?"

Kouji flinched when the man pushed his shoulders down and forced him to sit on the bed. He towered over Kouji now, and Kouji stared at him, heart racing and panic stricken. The man cupped Kouji's cheek gently and leaned close. "Beautiful," he murmured, and then leaned in close like he was going to kiss him.

Kouji broke away, pushing at the man savagely. "What the fuck?" he asked as he scrambled away. "Don't fucking _touch_ me!"

Kouji struggled to pull his cell phone out of his pocket to call Max and demand that he come get him. His hands were shaking so bad he could barley hit the dial button, but before he could the man's much larger hand was on his wrist, squeezing.

"What would you do to protect Takuya?" The man asked, his gaze boring into Kouji who was fighting tears.

"How do you know his name?" Kouji asked, voice barley a whisper.

The man laughed. "His name is Takuya Kanbara, right? You've been dating for awhile. You were at the park yesterday. You spent last weekend at his house, too."

"How do you know that?" Kouji asked, more frightened than he'd ever been in his life. "You've...you've been watching me."

"I should gut that punk for laying his hands on you, how would you like that?" The man asked, crowding close to Kouji on the bed. "Or your precious Larsons - Max and Ruth, what would you do to protect them?"

Kouji was trembling as he stared at the man in front of him. "Don't hurt them," Kouji whispered softly.

"I won't hurt him," the man murmured as rested a hand high up on Kouji's thigh. "I won't touch them, I promise, as long as you behave, do you understand?"

Kouji nodded stiffly. His heart was pounding as fast as a hummingbird's wings in flight. He continued to stare at the man wide-eyed with fright, unsure of what to do.

"Promise you'll behave," Colton murmured into Kouji's ear, making Kouji shudder. "_Now_."

"I promise, just don't hurt them, please don't, I'll do anything," Kouji responded.

The man smiled at him, sitting down on the bed and pulling Kouji close to him. "That's a good boy," he said softly. "You'll learn to be happy, they all did."

Kouji was too shocked to catch onto the _they_ comment. Instead he sat numbly by the man, trying to ignore the way the man stroked his thigh gently.

The door opened and Andrea walked in, and Kouji felt relief beyond belief that she had walked into the room. The relief that washed over him made tears well up in his eyes.

"What are you, a bloody dog?" she snapped at her husband. "Barley have the kid in the house and your damn well humping all over him."

Her nonchalance about the situation her husband was in made Kouji's heart sink like a stone tossed into a lake. She didn't care at all that he was all over him. She barley even spared them a second glance.

"He's perfect," the man said as he stared at Kouji.

"He is quite stunning," Andrea agreed. "We're having dinner within the hour, try not to break him before then."

Kouji jerked away from the man when he leaned in like he was going to kiss him again after Andrea had left the room, shutting the door behind her.

"Behave," the man said as he loomed over Kouji, "And I promise I won't hurt anyone, not the Kanbaras or the Larsons, I promise, you just behave and everything will be fine, you'll see."

The man stood and winced. "Come," he commanded and Kouji followed. "Oh, and I'll take that," he said as he grabbed Kouji's cell phone and pocketed it.

Kouji followed silently, unsure of what else to do. How the hell was he going to get himself out of this mess? If he told anyone...the only people he loved would suffer for it. Even if Max and Ruth and Takuya all moved on after he left he still couldn't bare the thought of them getting hurt.

He was trapped, he was scared, and he didn't know what to do. The man wrapped a hand around his forearm and pulled Kouji along behind him. The man led him to the master bedroom and shut the door behind them, and Kouji could barley breath he was so frightened. The man gave him a pointed look and told him not to move before he slipped into the bathroom quickly. Soon as the man closed the door Kouji headed for the nightstand where a telephone sat charging. He picked it up and all he got was static fuzz. Hands shaking, he hung up and tried hitting 'talk' again. He got the same results, and he cried.

"Come on," he tried again. "Come on, come on, _come on_," Kouji whispered desperately.

He was so focused on the phone he hadn't even noticed the door opening.

"That won't work, pet," the man said, coming up behind Kouji and wrapping his arms around Kouji's waist. He took the phone from Kouji's shaking hands and put it back on the charger. "don't let me catch you trying to call someone again, or I'll have to punish you."

Kouji let himself be pulled away from the phone. "Why?" he asked bitterly, new tears running down his cheeks.

"I promise you, pet, I won't hesitate to have them all killed," he gripped Kouji's hips gently, "And then whose fault would it be if they died?" he asked as he stroked Kouji's back. "Yours. All your fault, right? So just be good, it's not so bad, you'll see."

Kouji just shuddered.

"It'll be so good, so good," he murmured and Kouji felt defeated.

Kouji let the man touch him in a daze. He couldn't fight back, he couldn't get help, he couldn't do _anything_. If he did...it would be his fault. Everyone would die and it would be his fault. His fault, just like his dad and his mom. Everyone who got closed to him got hurt.

His fault, all his fault, always his fault...just like every other time before.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Warnings: offensive language/swearing**,** male/male pairing**, **molestation, _mentions _of non-consensual sex.

Disclaimer: Do not own Digimon or any of the characters used.

Author's Notes: Re-written, posted 2012-01-25.

* * *

Chapter Thirteen

* * *

The longer Takuya stared at the math equation on the sheet in front of him the more depressed he felt. He understood how to do it. He had no problems with this type of equation. Not anymore, thanks to Kouji. But that was exactly why he was depressed. In his math class he missed Kouji's presence beside him. Something as simple as his math homework made Takuya miss Kouji ferociously.

He was sitting in his room working on his homework. That's all he seemed to do lately. He was still grounded, his father was always quiet around him, but he allowed Takuya to go to soccer practices. As much as Takuya loathed half his team members, playing soccer helped him blow off some of his pent up frustration. It gave him a chance to run himself into exhaustion so he could get some sleep at nights. Most night he spent half the time tossing and turning and thinking about Kouji and how poorly he treated the dark haired teen. Before Kouji left he said he forgave him for the crap he had put him through but when Takuya was laying in bed he couldn't believe how cruel he had been. He vowed to himself that he'd make it up to Kouji. Once he was free from his father and the other teens at school and their repressive attitudes he knew everything would be different.

Sighing, Takuya flipped his math textbook shut and pushed it off his lap and grabbed his cell phone. Kouji had been gone for a little over three weeks and he had barley gotten three text messages from him and it made Takuya both worried and depressed. He wondered how Kouji's was getting on in his new school and how life with the Jensens was going. He opened a new message and stared at the blank screen for a second before he typed out a message.

_hey u, what's up? i miss you_

He didn't hit send right away. Instead he stared at it for a moment, debating on if he should sent it or not before he just went for it and hit send. His phone sent it and Takuya snapped it shut again before he threw the phone down on the bed. Kouji probably wouldn't even respond. He flopped backwards onto the bed and took a deep breath and let out a loud sigh. He wondered if Kouji met knew people, new friends...he tried to fight down the wave of jealousy that tried to swallow him but he couldn't help it. The idea of Kouji meeting other guys made something in Takuya's stomach knot up.

He was startled from his thoughts when his phone buzzed. Expecting it to be Izumi or Junpei, he was surprised to see Kouji's name flashing across the display screen. He snapped the phone open eagerly to read his response.

_Nothing Huge. Been Busy. Will email you later._

Takuya sighed. The response he got wasn't exactly what he was hoping for, but at least Kouji responded to him. He hit reply and typed out a quick, _lookin forward to it_, and threw his phone back down on his bed, frustrated. But at least it was a response. It was better than nothing and at least he had an email to look forward to.

By the time Takuya was ready to go to bed he had checked his email almost five times with no sign of an email from Kouji. He decided to check one more time, and he grinned when he saw an email in his inbox from Kouji. He clicked it immediately.

**Takuya,**

**I'm very sorry I haven't been answering your text messages or emailing you lately. I have been very busy settling in and getting used to everything. It's been a bit stressful but everything has been going well so far. The school is amazing, I love it there. The people are great and I have met many new friends. You would like them. The Jensens have also been very good to me. They are so nice, it's almost unbelievable how lucky I am. They have an amazing house, and the landscaping is beautiful. It's so much nicer than the boy's home. I am so happy they decided to take me in, it's been the best thing that has ever happened to me. The social worker is a bit annoying. She babbles a lot but she asked me tons of questions and talked to my school. She let Mr. Jensen know that everything looks good in my case and that she'll be checking in again in a few weeks. **

**I am very happy here, and even though I miss you I do not regretted coming here at all. It's amazing. Everything has worked out so well. Hopefully we can speak more often once life has settled down a little bit, but please don't worry about me if I don't answer right away.**

**Kouji**

"That's it?" Takuya muttered, re-reading the email again. A wave of depression swamped him. He was so excited about Kouji's email and he was happy that Kouji was happy and settling in well...but he expected more from the email than just that little bit. He thought Kouji would have lots to tell him but Takuya had seen more side affects written on pill bottles than what Kouji had typed out to him. And it seemed very mechanical too. It was very un-Kouji-like, which worried him.

Had Kouji met someone new? Was he no longer interested in Takuya? Did he want to break up but didn't know how?

Many different scenarios ran through his head and not one had a happy ending for him. After everything he put Kouji through he was still selfish enough to get jealous at the thought of Kouji being happy with another person.

Takuya hit 'reply' and stared at the blank email page for awhile. It was just like when he was texting Kouji earlier that day. He was unsure of what to say back.

**Hey baby - glad to hear everything is going well! :) I really, really hope we can start talking a bit more often. I miss you a lot. things are going well here too, but i miss you. please try to text a little more often, k? i am glad everything is goin well. maybe we can plan a weekend and i can come down and meet your friends. i would really like that.**

**hope to talk to you soon...dont forget that i love you!**

And with a sigh Takuya hit 'send'. He really wasn't supposed to be using the computer but he had a project for school that needed online research so his parents gave him permission to use it. Takuya cleared the recent browser history before going to google and searching his research topics so when his father went snooping it would look like he was actually using the computer for school work. He could just wait to use the computers at school and not have to deal with the hassle of his parents but he was too excited for Kouji's email.

But now he just felt disappointed. He shut down the computer and trudged to bed, a heavy, disappointed feeling playing on his heart.

* * *

Kouji sat curled on the couch, his knees tucked up as he stared blankly at the TV, not registering the images or sounds flashing across the screen. Instead his attention was fixed on the man sitting beside him who had was holding Kouji's phone in his hands. The man had told him to mind his own business already once when Kouji tried to see his phone and Kouji didn't want to anger him so instead he pretended to watch TV as he tried to watch the man out of the corner of his eye.

He heard the phone vibrate again and Kouji darted a quick glance at the man before focusing his attention back on the TV. He watched as Colton typed out a response on Kouji's phone and Kouji regretted not putting a password on the stupid thing. Not that it would have helped. The man would have just threatened the password out of him. Kouji was dying to see what the text messages said but Colton kept the phone out of his reach and kept the messages hidden from Kouji. He sat by him mockingly, parading his phone around as he pretended to be Kouji as he answered Max and Takuya's text messages.

The man flipped the phone shut with an exaggerated sigh. "Do they ever shut up?" he asked as he slipped the phone into his pockets and grinned at Kouji. "Don't worry, they know that you're happy and adjusting well."

Kouji just looked away from the man, ignoring him.

"Don't act so sullen, pet," Colton chided him as he shifted closer to the teenager on the couch. He wrapped an arm around Kouji's shoulder's and pulled him close against him as they sat cuddled on the couch. It was a position Kouji had been in many times before with Takuya but sitting with Colton made Kouji uncomfortable and uneasy. "You'll be happy. Just give it time."

Kouji scoffed, but otherwise said nothing. He sat tensely in Colton's arms as the man turned to look at him. He stood suddenly and grabbed Kouji's arm, pulling him up with him. Kouji sucked in a startled breath as he was hauled to his feet.

"I want you to see something," the man said as he towed Kouji behind him towards his office, a room Kouji had yet to be in. The room was clustered with papers and books and a desk with a computer. On the wall opposite the desk there were four pictures. All of them were high school graduation photos and each one contained a young, smiling teenage boy. Kouji stared at them. All of them were attractive, and they all looked happy in the photos, but Kouji didn't understand what they meant.

"That's Tyler," the man said, pointing to the first photo. "We took him in when he was fourteen and stayed with us till he graduated. He got into university and moved out when he was nineteen. We paid his fees for university and in return he kept quiet about what happened here. Plus, he didn't want us to hurt his precious aunty who was unfit to take him in herself."

Kouji's heart started to beat faster as he stared at the photos and realized what they were. A collection depicting all the boys Colton had gotten his hands on. Trophies. The thought made Kouji sick.

"Devon is the next. He wanted to protect his younger brother Ian who we sadly missed out on. A pity, really. He went on to Culinary school. Jack is the third, and he was protecting his girlfriend Leanne. Finally, Chase at the end. Our most recent boy to leave. He was protecting his foster family. He made it into school on a full ride scholarship for network security."

He reached up and stroked Kouji's cheek. "I think you'll pass grade twelve and take a year off so I get to spend a little extra time with you. You're older than I like but you were too beautiful to pass up."

"You're sick," Kouji hissed.

"Don't fight," the man replied with a small, smug smile. "It's not so bad in the end, you'll see. They all survived it, and you will too."

Kouji felt sick as the man tilted his head up and kissed him gently, wrapping his arms around Kouji and holding him in place as he moved his lips over Kouji's unresponsive ones. Kouji stood still, not kissing back but not fighting. The man ran his hands through Kouji's long, dark and unbound hair. He preferred when Kouji left it down, and Kouji winced as he tugged sharply on it.

The man finally pulled away from him with a satisfied smile on his face. "I have an email to go write, pet," he said as he stroked Kouji's cheek. "And I need your password and email address to do it."

"What?" Kouji asked, stepping away from the man. "No."

"Don't try me," the man said angrily. "Password. Now."

"I don't believe you!" Kouji snapped. "You can't hurt them and be here at the same time!"

The man hauled Kouji close by the arm roughly. "I don't have to," he grinned mockingly at Kouji. He pulled out his own cell phone and punched a few keys in and almost instantly a picture of Takuya appeared on the screen, blurry and grainy. But it was him. And then another came, and another, and another, all pictures of Takuya at soccer practice. Kouji's heart began to pound as he shook his head. It was Wednesday - Takuya had practice Wednesdays...

"No, no, no," he chanted as the man dug his fingers into Kouji's arm.

"Yes, yes, yes, pet. One wrong move and _boom_," he said with a smile. "So, password. Now."


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Warnings: offensive language/swearing**,** male/male pairing**, **molestation, _mentions _of non-consensual sex.

Disclaimer: Do not own Digimon or any of the characters used.

Author's Notes: Re-written, posted 2012-02-05.

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

* * *

Despite everything Colton did do him, living with the Jensens was not as horrible as it could have been. They paid for him to go to a wonderful private school, they paid for anything he needed school wise, plus extras like a field trip they had gone on earlier that week. They bought him new clothing, and provided good food and gave him money every day for lunches at school. They would have made amazing adoptive parents if Andrea cared about Kouji as much as she did her Blackberry and if Colton liked his body a little less.

But to make himself feel better, Kouji always told himself it could be worse. They could beat him, but they didn't. As long as Kouji behaved and did whatever Colton told him to do not only was he safe, but everyone he loved too. If Colton didn't have a enthralment for his body, living with them wouldn't be all that bad at all. That, and if Kouji was allowed to have his cell phone back and talk to Takuya and Max and Ruth.

He missed them, a lot. He wondered what Takuya said to him and what Colton replied with. He missed Max and Ruth too. He wondered how they were all coping and if Colton was slowly driving them away with his text messages. He didn't like to think that way. He was keeping everyone safe, and if that meant he had to push everyone away then so be it. He bit his lip and tried to focus on the whiteboard in front of him where his Advanced Functions teacher was writing down equations.

He shifted in his seat and sighed quietly, staring down at the solved equations that he had written down on his page. He had already covered this at Fairfield, so he was a little bit ahead of the rest of his classmates. Jamie nudged him with her elbow gently, startling him slightly. He turned to look at the girl and she asked him, quietly, to explain one of the equations to her. He did, and he felt an intense pang of longing reverberate through him. He met Jamie on his second day at the new school. She was a sweet girl and had immediately taken to Kouji. Kouji was pretty amazed at how enjoyable school could be when you weren't bullied every day.

Jamie was a lot like Takuya. She had trouble in math too and helping her reminded Kouji fiercely of Takuya. She had introduced to him to another boy named Tomoki and they had become good friends in the weeks that Kouji had been at school. Kouji was grateful for that. School was his reprieve, his escape. He had friends like he had never imagined having before and it made life so much more enjoyable.

He'd trade it all in if he could have Takuya and his family back though.

* * *

Kouji dropped his backpack down on his bedroom floor and sighed. He walked across his bedroom to his bed and sat down, staring at the floorboards. Finally he laid back on the bed, and closed his eyes briefly before opening them and sitting up. Colton had told him he wanted him to put his stuff away and to come back down the kitchen because they needed to have a talk. Kouji felt a little sick at the idea of what the man would want to talk about. What if he thought Kouji was trying to contact people and had them hurt, or worse, killed? Kouji bit his lip, hard, and forced himself up and off the bed so he could walk towards the door.

He hadn't though. He wouldn't dare risk it. He just had to suffer through this for a bit longer and then everything would be okay.

Once Kouji was in the kitchen the man gestured for him to sit down at the table and Kouji did. He jittered his leg under the table anxiously as he watched the man make himself a coffee. He offered Kouji one but Kouji declined. He was jittery enough without the help of caffeine. When the man finally sat down beside him on the table Kouji felt like he was ready to explode. Colton rested his hand high on Kouji's thigh, making the teenager tense but he made no move to stop the man. He sat quietly instead, staring at the table as he waited for the man to speak.

"Takuya's really been pushing to see you," Colton said, making Kouji look up at him in surprise. "I was hoping your...lacklustre text messages and emails would be off putting enough but unfortunately they weren't."

Kouji's heart was beating like crazy in his chest, and he stared at the man, not quite sure if he liked where the conversation was heading.

"I want you to call Takuya - and no funny business. I will be standing _right_ beside you," he said. "I want you to invite him down, tell him we can pick him up at the train station and he can spend Saturday night and day here before we take him back to the train station."

Kouji was equal parts ecstatic that Takuya would be visiting and terrified. What if Colton tried to hurt him too?

"You won't touch him, right?" Kouji asked, meeting the man's eyes hesitantly.

"If you promise you'll do anything I say and let me do anything I want to you...I _promise_, I won't touch Takuya at all and I won't touch you while he's here. How's that for a deal?"

Kouji's mind ran rampant at the words _let me do_ _anything I want to you_ but he nodded his head, trembling ever so slightly as he did.

"Deal," he said softly.

The man grinned. "Good idea."

* * *

Kouji gripped the cell phone in his hand tightly, the screen was on Takuya's name and all he had to do was click the little green 'dial' button. His hands were shaking. Colton stood behind him and rested his hands on Kouji's hips and squeezed gently. Kouji was terrified that the man would lie and try to do something to Takuya, but if he refused to invite Takuya down than the man would still hurt Takuya...so either way Kouji was stuck.

"Do it," the man encouraged softly, pulling Kouji back against him and grinding into him slightly. "Call him."

Kouji hit the dial button and the phone started to ring and Kouji's heart started beating wildly. Colton made him turn it on speaker so he could hear the conversation too. It rang a few times while Kouji tried to ignore the feeling of Colton's hands on his body. When Takuya finally answered with a bright, "Hello?" Kouji could barley breath. It took Colton pinching him harshly in the side for him to respond.

"H-hey," he said quietly. "It's me..."

"Kouji?" Takuya asked in shock, elated. "Hey, how've you been? I missed you so much! I wanted to call you _so _many times but I didn't want to bother you. I know you're settling in and stuff but I've missed you so much."

Kouji let himself get lost in Takuya's mindless babble, relishing in the sound of the brunette's voice.

"I missed you too," he said quietly when Takuya was done babbling.

"Is everything alright babe?" Takuya asked, and Kouji frowned a little at Takuya's perception.

"Fine, I just missed you a lot," he said. "I want you to come visit."

"Really?" Takuya asked, obviously excited. "I'd fucking love to."

Kouji laughed, despite Colton breathing in his ear and gripping his hips tight. He tried to block everything out and just focus on Takuya. They talked for another little while on the phone, arranging the details and planning everything out. When Colton decided Kouji had enough time on the phone with Takuya he stepped away from the teenager walked to the door and called, "Hey bud, time for dinner," and Kouji cringed.

"Do you have to go?" Takuya asked, disappointed.

"I do," Kouji said with a sigh.

"Okay, I love you, and I'll see you soon," Takuya said softly and it made Kouji choke up a little.

"Love you too," Kouji said softly and hung up. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he stood there.

"Good job," Colton said with a smile as he walked towards Kouji. Kouji turned to look at him and placed his cell phone in the man's outstretched hand. The man walked towards Kouji and wrapped one arm around his shoulders and smiled. "I forgot to mention one tiny detail though."

Kouji took a startled breath as he stared at the man.

"You need to break up with Takuya before he leaves," Colton announced and Kouji felt his heart break, just a little bit more.

* * *

Takuya packed his backpack full of stuff he needed for the trip to Kouji's. He was excited and he couldn't wait for the weekend to come. After school that day he had gone out and looked for something to buy for Kouji. His wallet was lighter than he would have liked by the time he found something but Takuya was pleased. He just hoped Kouji liked the little surprise too. He made sure he tucked the little box into a pocket of his backpack so he wouldn't lose it before he finished throwing in his ipod for the train ride.

His parents thought he was going to visit Izumi and she was happy to cover for him so they were pleased to see him getting out of the house. Even his dad hadn't protested when Takuya asked if he could go visit Izumi, a girl. He had been more than willing to let Takuya go spend the weekend with her. Takuya's parents also thought Kouji was gone for good and that relieved them greatly. It annoyed Takuya but it worked in his advantage so he didn't let them know that he was still talking to the other teenager.

His mother was going to drop him off at the train station at five in the morning because his train left at five-thirty. He would arrive by ten in the morning at the latest and have plenty of time to spend with Kouji. He grinned a little as he thought about the dark haired teen. He had really missed Kouji - more than he thought he would - and he was glad he would finally being seeing him again. He was glad Kouji called and asked him to come visit.

Takuya had been getting a little worried by how little Kouji said to him through email and texting. It didn't help that his messages always seemed to have an annoyed vibe to them, but Takuya was pretty sure he was just reading into them too much. Kouji had never been big on texting before, but now that he was gone Takuya noticed it a lot more. It was late and Takuya had to be up early and he rested his head on his pillow and despite his excitement, he was asleep in minutes.

* * *

The train ride had seemed to take forever because Takuya was so excited to see Kouji. Kouji told him they'd be waiting for him to arrive and soon as Takuya got off the train he was scanning the small crowd of people, looking for Kouji. He spotted him, and grinned. Kouji was dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans that hugged his legs a little more than Takuya's ever did with a blue graffiti design top with a grey sweater covering most of it. He looked great, and Takuya rushed over to him. He dropped his backpack to the ground when he got close and he swept Kouji up into a hug and held him close. Kouji let out a startled gasp before he laughed and wrapped his arms around Takuya and squeezed him tightly.

"Hi," Takuya before he leaned in and pressed a kiss to Kouji's lips gently. "God, I missed you."

Kouji gave him a watery smile and pressed his face in the crook of Takuya's neck and Takuya grinned, squeezing him tight and holding him close. They broke apart eventually and Takuya grabbed his abandoned backpack in one hand and Kouji's hand in his other. Kouji smiled slightly at him as they walked through the train station to where Colton was waiting. He greeted Takuya warmly and, despite his dislike for the man for stealing Kouji, Takuya was polite back to him. They held hands all the way back the fancy SUV the man drove and Takuya and Kouji clambered into the back together.

Takuya didn't like the way the man stared coldly at the two of them through the rear-view mirror but he didn't say anything so Takuya figured he tolerated their relationship but wasn't a huge fan. Takuya would rather his parents tolerance rather than their outright refusal. Takuya grinned at Kouji once they were settled in their seats and he felt a little awkward having a conversation with Mr. Jensen right in front of them but he was so excited to see Kouji he didn't care.

"How've you been?" he asked, meeting Kouji's eyes.

"Good," Kouji said instantly. "Really good."

Takuya smiled. "That's good," he replied. "What about school?"

"So much better here than home," Kouji said, and Takuya grinned at that. He was happy Kouji was enjoying school but he was also glad that Kouji didn't refer to the Jensen's house as home. "The people are so nice there, I have some friends, and yeah. It's great."

"I'm happy for you," Takuya said, "really happy."

Kouji smiled, but Takuya noticed he shifted uncomfortably in his seat and kept glancing towards the front of the car. He figured Kouji felt shy around the man in the front seat, and he wouldn't blame Kouji if he was.

"How's Max and Ruth?" he asked instead, watching the way Kouji frowned slightly at the question before answering.

"They're good...I've been busy so we haven't been talking a lot but they're doing great, but I do miss them."

"So, Takuya," Colton chimed in from the front seat, his eyes glancing back at them fleetingly from the review view mirror. Takuya felt Kouji stiffen beside him. "How is school going?"

"It's going really well, Mr. Jensen," Takuya answered. "Math is a little harder since Kouji has been gone though."

"Well, you know if you ever need help you can give Kouji a call or an email," the man said.

The car ride passed a bit awkwardly after that. Colton kept asking Takuya questions and it reminded Takuya of the time that Kouji had dinner with his parents. Now he knew what Kouji had gone through while his parents had grilled him. Takuya didn't want to be rude to the man, especially not after he had paid for him to come see Kouji, but he was sick of the man asking him about school and his life. He wanted to talk to Kouji. He squeezed Kouji's hand gently and smiled at him and Kouji gave him a small smile back.

They pulled up to the house and Takuya stared in slight shock. It was a gorgeous place surrounded by trees and fancy landscaping. The house itself was huge. When they want inside Takuya was even more impressed with the stylish decor. He felt a little out of place in the fancy house so he stuck close to Kouji's side.

"I'm going to show Takuya my room," Kouji said, meeting the man's eyes somewhat hesitantly.

The man nodded. "Make sure you leave the door open."

Kouji nodded and grabbed Takuya's hand and lead him towards the stairs quickly. Takuya followed quickly behind him feeling the man's eyes on his back the whole time. Once they were in Kouji's room with the door mostly shut Kouji practically through himself at Takuya, wrapping his arms around the brunette's shoulders and clinging to him desperately. Takuya was a little startled by the reaction but held Kouji back just as tight.

"I missed you so much," Kouji said quietly into Takuya's neck and Takuya smiled.

"I missed you too," he said. "To be honest, I was scared you found a new boyfriend or something."

Kouji scoffed. "Hardly."

""Good," Takuya said, grinning. "Because I love you."

Kouji's smile faltered a little but he answered back, "I love you too."

* * *

Before Takuya knew it Saturday had come and gone and Sunday evening was fast approaching and he had to leave for the train station soon. He was stuffing his things in his bag while Kouji sat on his bed, a frown etched on his features as he watched Takuya pack away his stuff. Takuya glanced up at him after he stuffed his last shirt in the bag and tucked his cell phone into the side pocket of his bag after replying to Izumi's text message.

"I don't think I've seen you on your phone once this whole time," Takuya commented as he zipped his bag up and went to sit down on the bed beside Kouji

"Hmm?" Kouji said, distracted. "I don't use it that much, you know that."

"You seem a little distant, is everything okay?" Takuya asked concerned, especially when Kouji wouldn't meet his eye.

"I did a lot of thinking this weekend," Kouji said after he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Takuya felt his heart start to race as he started at Kouji intently.

"About?" Takuya prompted when Kouji didn't speak again.

"Us," Kouji said, a slight waver to his voice.

"What about us?" Takuya asked, feeling wave on uncertainty wash through him.

Without meeting his gaze, Kouji spoke, "I think we should break up."

Takuya stared at him for a minute, not quite understanding what Kouji meant before it kicked in. When it did, Takuya's mind started racing and his heart started pounding. He felt a weird, constricting feeling in his chest as he finally caught Kouji's eyes and stared into them stricken.

"Why?"


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Dirty Secrets is currently being rewritten! The new chapter should be up soon. Thanks for your patience!


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Dirty Secrets is currently being rewritten! The new chapter should be up soon. Thanks for your patience!


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